China does it again

new year goals

Make my own money

Not lose interest in scuba

Go to these places:

Thailand

Mongolia

Philippines

Phase out flannel and bangs

Speak Chinese

spanish empire residuals

Spanish colonizers' cultural imperialism and its effect on the Filipino middle class

Part 1

Three generations ago, my great grandmother/her family was part of the provincial aristocracy where etiquette and formalities were king, also where Spanish and Latin were still widespread. Her daughter (my grandmother) was in love with a man who was not of their social class. As familiarized by many dramas and tragedies, my great grandmother did not approve of him because he was "poor", prompting (again, a familiar scene) the two lovers to elope. This did not meet the time's etiquette protocol; it was pure blasphemy. Fast forward to the next generation where my grandmother, the rebel, was raising my mom and her siblings. My mom told us a story -which is my inspiration for this post- of when my mom brought her friends to their home. Once they were gone, my grandmother, states that she does not like her friends because "they don't know how to sit". If my grandmother met my friends, she would probably disown me.

Then there is my own mother who continues this legacy through the manicuring and training of my nieces, ages 1.5 and 6. They learn to "sit like a lady", to always have a bag, hair clips and other accessories that match their outfits, to stay out of the sun and to enroll in some type of fine art. There have been multiple attempts to "civilize" me but my mom, another family rebel, was too busy earning a living to bestow upon me the Geronga pedigree. I'm also pigeon toed and could probably never sit like a lady. There are still times (many times) that I am harassed for not fixing my hair or wearing high heels.

Part 2

The Filipino Channel is probably the best example of the residual power of the Spanish aristocracy. Prerequisites to being on TV includes having light skin with straight hair, the high "pointy" nose. Women, of course, must be able to "sit like a lady", be tall, wear high heels and dress tastefully. Men must be tall, clean shaven and preppy. It is not uncommon for a movie star to run for office and win. Although not necessarily an elected politician, Imelda Marcos couldn't have had her way if it weren't for her beauty queen sashes.

I also remember, growing up, we watched soap operas that were actually Spanish soap operas but dubbed in tagalog. Example: Maria Mercedes. I can still remember the lyrics to the opening song! Frances trivia part 2: When I lived in Bicol (the place where the volcano is/has erupting/erupted), I owned a pet chicken named Thalia (named after a Spanish soap star). This chicken pecked my foot one time.

Part 3

The entire middle class has a maid to take care of their children, do their laundry, cook food and run errands, leaving them to be melodramatic, acting as if their lives are a soap opera plot (and it is sometimes!). Everyone (women) believes that their lives are the hardest and everyone around them should be sympathetic.

--

Everything is a conspiracy with me

The power of the The Filipino Channel

It's been recently apparent to me how central Filipino TV entertainment is to the international Filipino community. The commercials between programs are constantly peddling efficient ways to either communicate with your relatives back home or agencies and organizations that provide cheap alternatives to remitting money. It also seems that Filipino movie stars are just as effective (if not more) than the Philippine consulate when providing assistance and comfort in foreign places. These people are living legends- if you are Filipino, then you know who these people are! The standardized programming covers regions like Australia, South and East Asia and even to areas in the Middle East. I suppose this makes sense since the Filipino people are the country's largest export, representing over 14% of the national GDP. And the programs they will watch! Variety shows, song and dance (everyone is an actor/singer) and Filipino versions of American standards galore!

A lot of news is coming out of the Philippines these days. Massacres, martial law, and then this volcano erupting (or about to)! Here is a piece of Frances trivia- I used to go to school in the area by Mayon Volcano in Legazpi City and could see the volcano every day!

think of the children

I don't think its a stretch to say that the same few people and families have been running the Government of Guam for the last, I don't know, forever. When a new face finally made it into the Legislature, an investigation into his past shows that he had been arrested for breaking into a mall when he was in his teens. His negligence to report the "crime" when applying for candidacy has stimulated one of the bigger people's movements that I can remember (remember, this is over breaking into a mall). If people were as passionate about things that were actually important like teenage pregnancy rates or the lack of funding for the Department of Education, then I wouldn't be so bitter.

It is frustrating to see how nothing has changed on Guam. Road construction is an anomaly because they seem to be working on the same stretch of road every year. I am also surprised that the Department of Education seems to be functioning despite the number of headlines (at least a small percentage dedicated to it every year) saying how there is not enough funding to pay their teachers. How are so many of my peers already parents? Let's not even get started on energy and the active discouragement of renewable resources(how does my mom pay over $500 a month on their power bill?!). My opinion may be discredited because I had spent time living in the States but I believe I'm provided with a perspective that gives me the ability to see through the ignorance and obliviousness of the people of Guam.

And then there's the Congresswoman...

available credit

Every day there is a stand in the subway manned by several young-ish attendants getting people to sign up for a credit card, offering a free gift (tupperware, alarm clocks, stuffed animals) in exchange for their information. The table is always crowded and it doesn't take much for people to get them to sign up for one. Seeing that I've passed this table at least twice a day, in one of the busiest parts of town, I'm positive that thousands of applications are turned in every day, if not tens of thousands considering Shanghai is a city of at least 14 million people.

Having my own experience with credit cards and the chaos that ensued, I get nervous thinking about the number of people who are "awarded" a line of credit every day in China, especially in the big cities that are enamored with the sparkles, glitter and sequins (tasteful ones, of course) of Western consumerism. Credit seems to have a good impression on Chinese consumers considering the number of labyrinthian shopping malls that exist in all directions from here. Of course credit doesn't end at the shopping mall, the ubiquitous Union Pay can be used to finance your extravagant wedding photos taken at the Great Wall, your sleek new luxury car or fine imported wines (did you know that they like to use mixers with wine here?). It's just like the states except in China where there are at least a billion more people, not to mention the severe income gap between urban and rural populations.

I don't want to give the impression that I think credit is a bad thing, I'm just worried about the increasingly available consumer credit in China, and everywhere else, has the potential to be a terrible thing!

On how I want to travel everywhere when I earn money

Having the luxury of living in a place with an extensive rail and air network, I feel like traveling has suddenly become more accessible to my socioeconomic class (that is when I actually start making my own money and have the opportunity to independently join a socioeconomic class). Southeast Asia and Eastern Europe are within a stones throw and it is easy to make plans that can be realized in the near future. I've recently become infatuated with the idea of visiting Mongolia after our hostel dorm mates told us about their time there. Spending time in a place that hasn't embraced Western capitalism and all its baggage and instead retaining the nomadic lifestyle full of unpaved, unmarked roads in the desert traversed by four wheel drives and noble steed. I know how its cliche but I am amazed at how much of this world there is to see.

And I still haven't visited all the places I want to see in China! The list is long and is continually growing and I hope that I have both the time and capital to make the daydreams become a reality. It's just too bad about those student loans...

In other news, Alex and I are still in Shanghai. We discovered an arcade that spans an entire floor in a shopping mall that has games that I have never seen before including card games that virtually come to life when you place these cards (like Magic cards -are those even cool anymore?) on the table, Dance Dance Revolution with a twist (incorporates hand movements!) and games that test your reflexes and balance. Arcades have come a long way from Skee Ball and shooting baskets (which I'm surprisingly skilled at)! We switched hostels to a more central location in Huangpu near all the fancy buildings with all the lights that make Shanghai's skyline famous.

The best thing about this move is that there is a delicious Chinese restaurant downstairs (with an ENGLISH menu!) that serves the best 鱼香茄子 ("Fish flavored egg plant", does not taste like fish) I've ever had. Sorry Liz.

In about two weeks Alex and I are heading to Guam to both save and earn some money working for my parents and various other organizations willing to hire us for a short amount of time. First and foremost, of course, I will be a live in nanny for my sister's kids, where my one goal is to have them perform a coordinated song and dance routine reminiscent of the Von Trapp kids. Two months is a long time.

Until next time.

On how I love Chinese street food!

One of the worst things about not being fluent in Chinese (in my opinion) is ordering food. I often get flustered when ordering food and try my best to avoid it when it involves actually speaking to someone. I've been tricked into ordering too much, or have ordered not enough food (ie. two crabs) that the whole process of going to restaurants has traumatized me. Ordering food at restaurants isn't just a matter of saying what you want and instead incorporates a long series of questions and answers, and you know how Chinese is with tones, if it were a beauty pageant, I would've said something about world peach rather than peace. This "conversation" is also preceded by the antsy server who is hovering as you browse through the menu (that hopefully has pictures). I feel like I'm being interrogated for a crime or that I'm taking the waitress away from more pressing issues.

In an effort to reduce my restaurant anxiety, I've taken to the streets.

Nothing I can say can give street food justice. The whole industry incorporates everything I believe in; its cheap, fast, fresh, lots of variety, and the process involves pointing and saying how many you would like. Street food encompasses a large range of food so you will definitely find one you like the most. My personal favorite is the jidanbing (not to be confused with jIAnbing), which translates into "egg pancake". It's a fried dough pancake thing mixed with an egg, topped with some black bean sauce (I think), spicy stuff, lettuce and is served like a taco (something tells me I won't be able to make a living as a food critic). Price for one of these is usually 4RMB ($.60). The picture below is of a premium jidanbing which is pretty much a jidanbing sandwich.

Another street food staple is "chuan"/"chuar", which are skewers but nothing like what we are accustomed to in the states. These pictures were all taken during my first trip to China in 2007.

The bottom type of chuan is squid which I enjoy very much

random types of vegetable wrapped between tofu pieces

These are skewered pieces of everything you can imagine that range in price from 1RMB to 5RMB. They are cooked on a grill (don't worry, these people are professionals!) and spices and sauces are put at your request.

Can't you already see the appeal of street food? I know Alex has. I'm so proud of him, he can go out and buy street food all by himself!

Another type of street food I recently discovered is fried rice/noodles. One of these stands happen to exist right outside our hostel here in Shanghai. A big plate of fried rice or fried noodles costs 10RMB ($1.50)! Alex and I have been patrons of their stand -they even have a little picnic table to sit at, a sure sign of their success - the last two nights.

I should also mention that big dumplings ("dabao") are 1RMB each (the most expensive ones are)!

I feel like I've gotten so excited over street food that my coherence and wit have faded away.

Anyway, while street food is amazing, there is still a lot I have to experience (that occurs within walls) when it comes to Chinese cuisine. My goal is to become familiar with the Chinese food characters/terms so I won't have to deal with the ambiguity of the restaurant scene. Or I guess I could just speak Chinese more. Oh well.

tricked

I would be lying if I said that the reason why I haven't been posting is because of a lack of relevant material. So I won't lie.

After Liz and Colin left Beijing, Alex and I found ourselves at a loss of what to do. There was no more herding around, sights to be seen or awkward situations to find ourselves in. Actually, none of that is true because we're in China and ambiguity is a way of life here. So much for not lying.

In an effort to lift our spirits, Alex and I made our way down south to Qingdao, a city of beaches (right, Liz?) and beer. It didn't take us long to realize that Qingdao was more of a "summer" town, which is much more enjoyable when it is actually hot. The town was far from hot- it was just as cold as it was in Beijing in addition to the crippling wind, not to mention our hostel was had no form of a heating system. Luckily for us, we had our own heating system- Alex's zero degree sleeping bag.

I won't even go into what we did (or didn't do) in Qingdao because of how depressing it was. We didn't even go to the Tsingtao beer factory.

--

We made it back to Shanghai in an effort to do something productive while waiting for our contracts to be prepared. Our train ride here was another one of those "stories" that could only happen in China.

Because we were tricked by the cab driver into paying 40RMB for our cab fare to our hostel that was less than 5 minutes away (he didn't even have the decency to drive us around to make it seem like it was far away), I refused to take a cab to the train station. Our only other option was for us to take a bus (which is really not an option when one is carrying large backpacks) or to walk. So we walked. Qingdao is unique in the sense that there are actually hills in town, whereas a majority of cities are relatively flat. With at least 26 pounds on my back, a smaller backpack in the front (think of how marsupials carry their babies) and a camera bag on my shoulder and poorly made Chinese boots, these hills (nothing compared to Seattle, of course) were a bitch to walk. Of course, in true Chinese fashion, it goes without saying that we were hassled for hotels or whatever along the way. We have to love China!

There were two things of note when we finally got on the train. The first is that Alex and I were not in the same cabin, the second is that these cabins were full of rowdy children! Of course, Alex immediately became a local celebrity. After we arranged for us to be in the same cabin, the cabin that held only us and these kids, Alex and I decided to play a game of Scrabble. Alex, being the local celebrity, was immediately bombarded by curious 11 year olds. I'm sure if there was enough space, they would've lifted him up and had him crowd surf. Anyway, these kids had the opportunity to practice their English, while learning some new words that we played on the board. According to their leader, Li Gang (when I asked him if he was their leader, he said yes. All the kids kept asking him for advice or help or something), they were on their way to Shanghai to participate in a competition where they use computers to design airplanes. We could tell that they were from affluent families- some had PSPs or MP3 plays, most had fancy cellphones and they all had so many snacks and KFC for dinner (they were all a little pudgy, it was cute).

At one point, one kid was asking Alex what kind of food he liked. He asked things like "Do you like sausage" or "Do you like cabbage", which I thought were pretty cute and endearing.

---

We rode the Maglev train (the only functioning train levitated by magnets!) yesterday. Unfortunately, the train reaches its highest speed -420km/hr- from 10 in the morning to about 6 at night, so Alex was a little disappointed by that. We still got to ride it at 300 km/hr.

Anyway, my fingers are really cold so I have to stop now. Something tells me that the only way to get warm in China is to be in the (real) south.

Great Wall

We climbed this part of the Great Wall yesterday. I was surprised there weren't massive amounts of tour buses, or even people. We were practically the only ones there!

Check out Alex's Flickr for our own set of Great Wall pictures (this one is from Wikipedia, I don't have access to a lot of bandwidth).

Goodbye Mama Naxi

It's pronounced Na-Shee.

The first thing Mama Naxi said to us when we arrived in Lijiang was "Mama take care of you...I give you free banana juice"

We stayed at Mama Naxi's Guesthouse while in Lijiang. At the time of writing in our trusty Lonely Planet (published May 2009), Mama Naxi was in the process of building a second guesthouse. By the time we arrived (November), Mama Naxi had completed three guesthouses and is on her way to her fourth guesthouse. If I were still in the Business School, I would love to do a marketing case study on her hostel empire. Old Lijiang is a small place, and for Mama Naxi to have four guesthouses within the city walls implies her control of the youth hostel market share. She seems to know what people like- cute dogs, kisses on the cheek, small gifts and very reasonable prices. Why can't I be like her? Mama Naxi needs to teach at the Foster School of Business.

Since there were no direct routes to Beijing, we had to go back to Kunming (the biggest city in Yunnan) in order to fly out. This involved an 8+ hour bus ride on a large bus (like a Greyhound) on a two lane road that drivers saw as a four lane road. All types of vehicles were on the road- construction trucks, dump trucks, big buses, minibuses, cars, three wheeled cars, trucks with exposed engines that looked like toy cars, bicycles, motorcycles... really everything you can imagine, with every type trying to overtake the other. We feared for our lives- if we weren't going to drive into an oncoming car because we were trying to pass a slower vehicle then we were likely to fall off an unguarded edge off a cliff.

I was on the verge of throwing up the entire time.

We were in transit for nearly 18 hours (we left Lijiang at 830 and arrived in Beijing at one), we had difficulty trying to find our hostel. I found it ironic that the one place that Liz and I are familiar with, it took us a very (very) long time to find our hostel. Our cab driver was a little whiny and scolded us for not knowing the proper address of the hostel so after 20 minutes or so of aimless driving, we decided to just walk around. We walked to the notorious Sanlitun bar street in hopes that someone would know the name of the hostel we were staying at. We were solicited by a ten year old boy saying that he knew where the place was and that he would show us. We were a little skeptical but got over ourselves when we realized that the people who worked at the bar were making fun of us for being scared of a little boy. I was afraid that this boy was going to lead us into a dark alleyway where a gang of his peers would beat us up and take our money. The scene was very likely- this boy was walking very fast through random alleyways that were either really dark or had sketchy bars and clubs that were away from the main street. He finally led us to a shifty looking hostel that actually wasn't the hostel we were planning on staying at and was probably one of "those" kinds of hotels that could be rented by the hour. While this wasn't the place, I still paid my dues to the kid (thankful that he didn't try to beat us up) and gave him 20 kuai (about $3).

Luckily for us, the man at the front desk was very nice and pointed us in the right direction. Kind of. We finally made it to our hostel after an hour and a half of wandering the vicinity. I was going to demand that we not pay for a whole day since we arrived after midnight but I felt shy. I've decided that I'm all talk when it comes to getting things my way.

Anyway, its cold in Beijing (really cold). How are you?

Hot pot in Lijiang

Despite a developed transportation network (extensive railway, flight and bus systems), our trip across China proved to be very ambitious. For the three weeks dedicated to traveling, we made it to Guangzhou, Hong Kong, Hainan, Kunming, Dali, Lijiang and Beijing, skipping Guilin, Yangshuo, the Tiger Leaping Gorge (in Lijiang), Chongqing and Xian [These names probably don't mean anything to you]. With these places on our original list, I don't understand how we thought visiting all of these places would be realistic.

ANYWAY

We made it to Beijing. How we got to Beijing is an interesting story, and it all begins with the night before we leave Lijiang. We've been using our Lonely Planet religiously, especially taking note of their recommendations for food. Disappointed by our mediocre feast from the night before at Mama Fu's, we hoped that the Blue Papaya would be a better representative of Lijiang cuisine. True to her job's namesake, our waitress was hovering over us antsy to take our order. She recommended hot pot, since everyone around us was eating it and seemed to be having a good time. Lonely Planet highly recommended the place so it didn't hurt to order something we weren't so hot about (haha).

When in China, ordering something with uncertainty can result in a painful experience. Our experience at the Blue Papaya is a perfect example of a meal gone wrong. Without realizing the option of no spice, we had ordered a our hot pot with a spice that would ruin our entire night. Taking into account Liz's pescetarian diet, we had ordered a fish hot pot. Fish in China comes with all the bones. Added with the boiling hot broth (that was literally on fire for a majority of our dinner) and a spice that could have blinded us, there were aspiring Chinese pop stars - complete with flashy outfits and headset microphones - singing as loud as they can through crackling amplifiers and their entourage of loafers toting menus of Chinese classics to the hordes of tourists (probably having a better time with their milder hot pots), there was nothing pleasurable about the experience. It didn't help with the occasional street vendor approaching us with random trinkets, fruit, flowers and cigarettes.

There were too many things going on with our meal, which was very frustrating since we were all hungry and wanted to get some kind of nourishment from our expensive meal. If we were not choking on small fish bones or on the verge of passing out from the spice, we were assaulted by vendors or had our conversations halted by competing singer/songwriters singing as loud as they can (here is another promising career for our singer/songwriter friends).

And of course this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to our trip to Beijing.

Stay tuned!

Preview for the rest of our trip:

10 hour bus ride on a 2 lane road

being led by a child to our destination

walking around at 2 in the morning trying to find our hostel

Mailing List

I can't access blogspot in mainland China so I can't blog about our wonderful travels. To remedy this, I'm setting up a mailing list. Get on this email list! Email me- francespontemayor@gmail.com

No more driving

I'm glad that I won't have to drive long distances for a while. This makes sense considering I grew up on an island that was about 30 miles long (a third of which was inaccessible because of the military) and got carsick when we were in the car for more than 10 minutes. I'm surprised Alex still likes me considering I refused to talk to him while either of us was driving, sometimes even forcing myself to sleep to avoid conversation (sorry Alex). I'm just not one of those kinds of people.

In the morning Alex and I will be off to Boston! Neither of us have been there so it will be a treat for the both of us. In the place of long distance driving will be various modes of transportation including busses, airplanes and trains. This next week (our last in the mainland) will be a test of our health. Perhaps it was a good thing that Alex's dad pawned off a lot of medicine on us. In any case, my goal is to not get sick and avoid being quarantined in China.

I better try to compress my bag now.

obligated to

Alex and I are approaching the second leg of our pre-trip. We haven't been doing much except hanging out around his dad's house, either reading, watching movies or the occasional being chased by 100 pound dogs outside. I have no problem with this because these activities are what I would like to base my entire life around (with the occasional change of scenery). The weather has been a little too cold for my taste and it doesn't help that its been really windy since we've arrived. I don't think I could handle the winters here.

Alex's dad and his wife are very nice people. His dad loves to tell stories about everything and anything (he is a good storyteller) while his wife occasionally makes fun of him. His dad also tries to pawn things off on us- jeans, face masks, books, old tshirts. I think this is cute. His wife has a nice vegetable garden that produces a large variety of stuff, which makes me wish I could have my own someday.

Minnesota

There are so many books, records and food in Alex's dad's basement! It is practically a library!

Later today we will be driving out to Alex's Uncle John's cabin in Wisconsin. I've been told that there is a massive garage- or what they like to call "garage-mahal"- that is causing much controversy. I will take pictures.

Burt (Alex's dad) has two rottweilers that are ridiculously cute and nice. They both must weigh more than I do (with the older weighing at least twice as much as me) and have the capacity to kill me if necessary. Good thing I am a nice girl.

Here is an itinerary of the remainder of our American heartland trip:

Now-October 2: Minnesota

October 3-6: Chicago/O'Fallon

October 6-9: Boston

October 9-11: DC

October 11-13: New York/New Jersey

And we fly out to Shanghai on the 14th!

ramblings from Beach, North Dakota

I'm alone sitting on the cold floor of the visitor's center. According to a sign on the wall that lists total mileage from various cities, Beach is approximately 1100 miles away from Seattle. We left Seattle at 830am Friday. It is now 335 am. Alex is sleeping in the back of the truck (in my sleeping bag!) because we couldn't find any motels that had any vacancies. We originally intended to camp in Billings, Montana but Alex found a second wind after a nap and decided to keep going.

I'm usually afraid of being by myself in strange areas (like normal people) but I am oddly comforted by the number of video surveillance cameras in here. It's really cold outside.

I think I will try to nap.

Actually, I don't think that will happen because of free wireless. What an age we live in.

epilogue

At the end of the week, I'll be leaving Seattle with nothing more than a backpack full of underpants and socks and important documents that verify my citizenship, esl certification and education. I've relieved myself of all my possessions except for a special selection of items I've collected since I was 9 years old. I've had these things for a while but not long enough to sit down and properly reminisce (it hasn't been that long). I might as well keep the collection going in order to validate constantly moving them around. I'm actually not a hoarder.

Anyway, I digress. So I'm leaving my comfort zone once again for an indefinite amount of time. I feel like this time it is a selfish move considering my parents are still contributing to my financial pool (I'd like to think that my bond has a long time before it is fully matured). At the same time, I feel like I'm going to finally be doing something that I like. Like people who feel their need to satisfy their biological clock and settle down and start a family, going to China feels like the next logical step for me. China is my baby and/or real job. Don't worry- I'll be making money there somehow.

Did I mention that Alex will also be moving to China? I am concerned about him experiencing culture shock that mentally and physically disables him from being happy. In order to prevent this, I, with a collaboration with Rosetta Stone have been teaching him key phrases such as "This boy/girl/man/woman is drinking water", "I want beer", "I do not want to jog" in various combinations.

While I'm sad to be leaving my friends/social network, I am excited to go abroad and return with better things to talk about in comparison to this last year where I have been less interesting than a piece of bark.

This is Alex and Dana.

I will attempt to update this blog while we are abroad (government permitting, of course). So keep in touch! Also, give me your address. Alex and I are determined to write a lot of letters while we are away in order to revive the romantic notion of the act, considering how exotic our travels will be (not really, but really).

I haven't written like this in a long time since I've been traumatized writing 60+ pages over the summer. I feel like I need to insert "strategic" and "competitive advantage" in somewhere. I guess I just did.

Baby steps.

As if nothing ever happened

I'm sorry I've neglected this. I have no excuses. Or I have many excuses but none are valid. I will be back shortly.

On thinking I'm better than science

I am going insane.

Certainty

I feel like my life thus far has been dictated by external forces, with [studying in] China being the independent variable. Now that I'm done with my undergraduate studies with a degree that I feel nothing for, I need to finally move onto the next step and take what's mine. In other words, I need to ignore others and make choices based on what I want to do.

First step? Going back to China.
I figured I spent 3 years learning the language so I might as well master it.

Seeing things

Sometimes I see people that look like animals. These are some of the animals that are in my class this summer. I mean this in the nicest way possible.


Fake octopus


Siamese

Greyhound



Chihuahua


Panda


Afghan

Cowardly Lion



Shih-tzu


Bulldog

Now if I could only stay awake in class.

Stalling time

Two nights ago I had a dream about being stuck in an elevator with someone I didn't know in real life but seemed to be relatively acquainted with in my dream. We both understood that the elevator was broken but we still rode in it anyway. Before we know it, the elevator malfunctions and makes it descent. I believe we made it through the crash.

Because I am one of those people who sometimes interprets dreams as a sign, I looked up some common analyses of elevator dreams. Aside from the usual anxiety and helplessness that are associated with the descending (and crashing) elevator, one of the more interesting and probably more relevant interpretations was that "[I am] looking for help with a specific problem, or you want to achieve your goals in a hurry without putting much effort into it". Judging from the disaster of revealing my post college plans to my family, I feel that this dream was very fitting with my current events.

In less than a month I will officially be a college graduate. Aside from my tentative plans of going back to China and doing something while I'm there, I have no solid foundation of how I plan on supporting myself. Then there is the talk about nursing school. And then how I am considering taking the GREs. Or if I should just get an MBA. And going to France with Alex.

The interpretation of the dream where I want to achieve my goals without putting much effort is pretty accurate. Maybe its because I want to do so much or that I'm not really thinking about my interests. In any case, it looks like I need to be getting on the ball when it comes to developing a plan.

I'm not the only one who is planning the next major stage in my life. In the next year, my sister and her family will be relocating to San Diego. Also, my mom and my stepdad will be moving to Taiwan to "retire". Apparently my brother is going back to school to get a Masters of Science in Library Sciences. So it looks like I'm not alone with the uncertainty about the future. Unfortunately, at least they know what they're doing.

It's June!

Things I am now comfortable with which would have been absolutely unheard of a couple months ago:

1. sleeping with the bathroom door open
2. participating in class discussions (even when participation is not part of the grade!)
3. sleeping on either side of the bed (even if it is closest to the bathroom)
   
4. eating by myself at restaurants
5. leaving the house with no makeup
6. not showering at night
   

I've come a long way. If only these changes came earlier, I would've probably been a better student/person.

On another note, I love cats.

HAHA

What!

SHOW YOURSELVES!

If All Else Fails

From the relative ease of producing over eight pages of marketing bullshit, maybe there is a career for me in writing marketing plans. I'd like to think it was well written. Would you like to read it?

This is in contrast to translating and defining trade terms from English to Chinese.

My eyes are going to explode from looking at this computer screen all day.

I guess

The Rise of the Black Hipster

On losing my creative edge

I feel like I used to be so funny:

December 13, 2006

It's the eve of my last final for Fall quarter. It's unfortunate to say that the margin between doing very well and poorly is quite small depending on the material my professor decides to test us on. In my defense, it's not very easy, nor is it encouraging, to condense 700 years of world history into a weekend of studying. At the same time, I am still recovering from stuying for my Chinese exam. It's too bad that my method for memorizing chinese characters isn't the same for world events that happened in the 13th-20th century unless I can find a way to create humorous mneumonics/emoticon-type faces and attach them to significant revolutions. 

Last Saturday, I had two finals that occurred within 5 hours of eachother. In midst of the rotating depression, fatigue, confusion and frustration, I had to stop and wonder what my purpose of being at the University was. Did I really want to routinely go throuh the mental anguish and abuse that college offered? At that point, I decided that living on a farm and producing as many children as possible didn't sound so bad. My purpose would be clear cut and I didn't have to worry about grade point averages, resumes or student loans. Even by thinking this I have set the feminist movement thousands of years back but its perfectly natural to wonder why, these days, we're confined to the social pressures of following a linear path that leads to happiness and success. Whatever happened to being content as a housewife?

Naturally, after getting the finals over and done with and the mental recovery thereafter, I decided to half-take back what I thought. Although I like the idea of pursuing my biological destiny, having the opportunity to create and experience things is a part of personal development, essentially meaning that we should be enjoying life. I'm guessing the "enjoy" part of final exams comes in the rewarding period after it. Besides, as far as I've heard, bearing children isn't exactly fun and games. And who knows what happens when things go wrong with the farm. 

While I feel like the only thing I excell at in college is mediocrity, the list of things I could prospectively be good at is becoming more defined. It's not quite international studies, math, economics or science but at least I'm getting there. 

I used to also be so conscious:

August 1, 2006

A lot of the time, I've become so consumed in my material world that I forget to remember and acknowledge the simple things that we all take for granted. A home we can call our own, a refrigerator full of food, running water, power, and all other "basic" amenities (i.e. cellphones, cable, airconditioning, Jack In The Box) that aren't essential to our natural survival are credited to my lifestyle. With those things alone, Ive already made it better than more than half the world population. Blinded and conformed to the vision of the Western life, Ive assumed the identity of a hoarding consumer in search for bigger, better, shinier material objects that act as ornaments instead of truly investing in my well-being. 

Ill admit it: I like stuff and I wish I had more of it. I often dream of becoming the owner of the most up to date useless paraphernalia that wont promise better grades (This was once a personal tactic for my parents to buy me things) or reason with myself that, since it was "insert season here", I deserve to indulge in the latest trend. It was okay to me because everyone else was moving forward in technology so it was virtually necessary for me to buy things. It is in the same league as running water or shelter; I needed stuff to survive in the city. 

I come back to Guam every year since I moved to Seattle in 2002 and each time that Ive been back, it becomes apparent to me that Ive lost some part of the Guam in me. Living in Seattle, Ive become so absorbed in fitting in that Ive forgotten where my family came from and I eventually feel like Im some kind of urban impostor when I come home. My family isnt rich and we werent bred to believe so. Both my parents came from humble beginnings. My mom was raised in a small province with ten brothers and sisters so opportunity, as you can imagine, wasnt always readily available. My grandfather worked as a farmer in a town where if you were born a farmer, it was more than likely you would die a farmer. He worked to feed his family from the land that he didnt own and if it werent for recruitment by the American military, we would have never made it to Guam to pursue the American dream. 

Struggle is a recurring theme in my family, as many immigrant families can relate. Although we may not embody the rags to riches ideal, weve accomplished a lot for a family who has roots in third world poverty. What I resent the most is the fact that I gave myself the impression that I can bypass all struggle and believe that I could go through life without having to lift a finger. In my eighteen years on this earth, Ive witnessed my family go through an entire theme park (as opposed to the lone rollercoaster) of struggle manifested through sickness, financial need, unexpected pregnancies and the ongoing household instability. Despite all this, look where we are now: I attend a nationally recognized university, my brother is doing the work he loves, my sister has a loving family and my parents (Uncle Chris included) have the safety net of support, reassurance and direction they were once in search of. 

With this as my legacy, it isnt right for me to think that I can automatically assume the metropolitan life without regarding my familys history. It is practically my duty to use the life skills and experiences weve witnessed as a whole and using it to bring the family name to a higher level. Although looking cool and having all the right gadgets may in one way or the other seem necessary, I have to stop and think about who I am and where I came from instead of taking into account how others perceive me (and Im pretty sure this will take a while). My parents have provided me a better life that wasnt intended to exploit their hard work through clothes or knickknacks but to encourage me to work towards an even better life. I wrote this with the intention to show the negligible effect of materialism on my life/outlook on life, which is almost like a calling towards you all. Im not one to quote but Im sure you can all put this to good use, If a man cares not for his roots, how then can he care for his branches

I was also very whiny:

July 12, 2006

Sitting two rows from the end of the plane, I've come to clearly see, in my extremely fatigued and uncomfortable state, the worsening condition of air travel. Apparently, $1200 isn't enough to get proper service. In this day and age with constantly improving technology and material sciences, one would imagine that flying would be a reasonably comfortable mode of transportation but I guess with today's oil prices, they have to cut down on peanuts/salty alternative. Actually I just hate Northwest now. 

In the duration of plane ride 1 of 2, the plane lost power twice while taxiing, my foot has been hit by the beverage cart, peanuts/pretzels weren't free, I stood on people's pee in the bathroom, my chair was constantly being kicked by a little baby (which cried half the time, btw)... so basically, I feel like I'm not getting the type of service, or at least security, that I/my mom paid good money for. We even had to search for our own pillow and blanket. Only halfway through my travel time, I am beginning to hate flying more and more. 

Im really bitter about this experience because the flight to my first connection is usually my designated time to sulk and cry because of how much I miss everyone already in Seattle. Instead, my chair is being vibrated by a small child and I want to punch this child's face.

I'm in Hawaii now and I don't leave for another two hours which gives me time to do absolutely nothing.

 

It's common sense but not sensed commonly

Rather than paying to see and analyze in a third person perspective (via college), learning about one's cultural heritage and its contemporary issues should be encouraged at home. 

Do you know where your child is?  

We're all little pieces of shit

Just to put some perspective on our petty lives, here are some pictures taken by the Hubble Telescope that I really like:









I guess I'm not as special as I thought.

These pictures were taken from here.

Impossible

It's 2:30 in the morning and I just finished my Chinese essay. It is only 380 characters long.

Coming soon:

A letter to the Ambassador of the American Dream cc: Public Relations/Human Resources Department
-A note on senior citizens, among other things

Are you interested in reading this?

Boners for seafaring

The world was simple- stars in the darkness. Whether it was 1947 B.C. or A.D. suddenly became of no significance. We lived, and that we felt with alert intensity. We realized that life had been full for men before the technical age also- in fact, fuller and richer in many ways than the life of modern man. Time and evolution somehow ceased to exist; all that was real and that mattered were the same today as they had always been and would always be. We were swallowed up in the absolute common measure of history- endless unbroken darkness under a swarm of stars. 

-Thor Heyerdahl, halfway through the voyage from Peru to Polynesia on a balsa wood raft/ Kon Tiki

Etiquette

I'm sure there are many similar posts concerning this issue but it doesn't hurt to further emphasize or passive aggressively encourage people to take note of their actions.

Things about Metro riders that I cannot stand:

1. People who do not have their fare prepared as they enter/exit the bus. I absolutely hate waiting for people who are paying in uncounted coins when they have plenty of time to prepare beforehand (this only refers to those who have been previously waiting at the bus stop or had been on the bus and not to those who had to run for the bus).
2. People who enter the bus talking on their phone.
3. People who have extended conversations on their phone.
4. People who talk loud on the phone.
5. People who take up two seats by putting their belongings on one seat and refusing to move their things despite the lack of seat space for other riders.
6. People who listen to music loud enough that it can be heard through their earphones.
7. Kids who play songs on their phone via speakerphone.
8. People who are rude to the bus driver
9. Angry people who blame the bus driver (and make unnecessary comments) for their terrible commute
10. Smelly people
11. People who take forever to get off the bus.
12. People who forget to pull the cord to stop and, instead, yell at the bus driver to stop.
13. Teenage girl gossip
14. Loud, unnecessary swearing


Any combination of these gives me an anxiety attack. This happens quite often.

Hamsterdam

It's like The Wire in real life:

"At the recommendation of a national commission charged with addressing Portugal's drug problem, jail time was replaced with the offer of therapy. The argument was that the fear of prison drives addicts underground and that incarceration is more expensive than treatment — so why not give drug addicts health services instead? Under Portugal's new regime, people found guilty of possessing small amounts of drugs are sent to a panel consisting of a psychologist, social worker and legal adviser for appropriate treatment (which may be refused without criminal punishment), instead of jail."

Time.com

Soon enough. 

School again

I'm experiencing an unnecessary amount of difficulties because I can't find two classes to satisfy the remainder of my CISB requirements. The plan is to graduate by the end of the summer (preferably by the end of the A-term) but the program advisor is giving me a hard time about the classes I can take. What frustrates me the most is that I'm not allowed to have a class that met two requirements actually count for two requirements. This is what I would like to call a business school conspiracy.

I would like to blame everyone, including myself, for my struggles but its probably best that I should put my head down and power through. I will, even after all this bullshit, bureaucracy and brownnosing, graduate by the end of the summer. 

I'm even volunteering for CISB. Who would've thought.

Jellyfish Lake Palau

This is beautiful. I feel so lucky to have visited this place, even if I was terrified of touching them (it was impossible not to).

Shit talking

I'm one of those people who owns an impressive amount of pens and highlighters and takes meticulous notes on everything the teacher says. Even though the teacher provides us with the material that is being reviewed, I will still take detailed notes on everything that comes out of their mouth and further dissect it into more digestible pieces of information. I will then rate the relevance and importance of the information, both the original and dissected version, and color code it to my liking, where the legend of what the highlighted information means only exists in a mental legend, secured by me. I will do these things almost mindlessly as I am excellent at multitasking- I listen to the lecture, refer to the given notes and highlighting and changing colors as needed.

When the time for an exam comes around, I will then look over this my stack of notes- each session's topic neatly separated by colored post it notes or tabs. I take all the information and extract what is needed for the test. This is easy because of my color coded notes. I will compile the important notes into another file titled "review sheet" where I can list out the categories of things I need to study, use the information from the notes I have taken to supplement what is discussed in the book, neatly checking off each segment after I have mastered everything.

If I am lucky, the teacher will allow us to have a cheat sheet on the exam. I will use this to to my advantage. Because I am blessed with the skill of writing extremely small (due to my thorough notes written on the margins of my teacher's notes), I fill out the entirety of the allotted space and, of course, color coding it based on sections of what we've learned.

I am not this kind of person.

Kon Tiki

As recommended by Alex, I started reading Kon Tiki as part of my regimen for personal development (not actually happening). The premise of the book revolves around a Norweigan explorer's quest to prove the theory that people of Polynesia sailed from Peru, rather than Asia, on balsa wood rafts by reenacting the theorized expedition. After forming a six member crew of burly seasoned adventurers (such as a Swede who spent a significant amount of time in South American jungles doing research on native tribes or another man who was described to be everything I would imagine a Norweigan sailor to look like, complete with red, bushy facial hair). He describes a number of barriers and bureaucracy they had to go through in order to get access to the materials, government clearance, financing, etc for the trip. What surprised me is that the process they had to go through was not difficult at all (compared to contemporary times, at least)- while his theory was immediately dismissed by his colleagues, either his credentials are unquestionable or he is extremely charismatics managed to get everything he needed without any personal investment. He met with officials from from different organizations and countries, including the President (king?) of Peru, which granted him the support in the form of supplies, access to the naval base, equipment, "free passes", navigation tools, among many, many other things. In fact, these people were more than glad to offer their services, even soliciting the crew to test out prototypes for new technologies.

This project occurred over fifty years ago. I understand that things are not the same as they once were but doesn't this all seem too fantastical, to romantic to ever occur in real life? There is no way that this project could be carried out today. I also have a feeling that hardy, seasoned sailors and explorers are hard to come by, except, of course, in the case of reality tv..

It's hard to displace ourselves and think of a life that existed without modern technology. We are the generation of value menus, digital convergence and unnecessary consumption and will probably find it very difficult to spend one day without any of the above. Perhaps that is why I find it odd that there were so many people involved in the process of Kon Tiki- exploration and knowledge of the known world were their investments rather than raising GDP or finding ways to be more economically competitive.

Who wants to invest in my voyage?

Alive

I promise I'll post soon. I have no idea what I've been doing the last month.

Highlights of my career in education

Preschool: I stepped away from my seat to change my toy and returned to find another boy sitting in my chair. I didn't say anything but instead moved to another chair- foreshadowing of the bullshit that is to come.

Kindergarten: I faked vomiting to try and stay home. It didn't work.

First Grade: I spelled "transportation" correctly and won my in-class spelling bee.

Second Grade: I have no idea what I did.

Third Grade: I wore baggy pants.

Fourth Grade: I moved to the Philippines and was called out on not knowing the entire multiplication table. I didn't know how to speak the language. I also realized the disparities between education systems on Guam and everywhere else.

Fifth Grade: I moved back to Guam and went to public school for the first time.

Sixth Grade: I went back to Catholic school and hated it, mostly because of the mean guidance counselor.

Seventh Grade: Public school again and witnessed my first riot.

Eighth Grade: Lost the student government election to someone in the 7th grade.

Freshman Year: Was a student athlete, in student government and hung out with seniors. Probably the most fulfilling year of my life.

Sophomore Year: Moved to Seattle and felt stupid compared to my peers.

Junior Year: Still felt dumb, realized what "liberal" meant.

Senior Year: I had fun hobbies and my future seemed really promising.

Freshman- College: Decided that I didn't like the UW anymore.

Sophomore- College: Took my first year of Chinese. Thought I was going to be an International Studies major but realized that I don't like being critical.

Junior- College: Went to China and decided that Chinese is probably the only profitable thing I will leave college with. Got into the business school and CISB, only to learn that it might have been a big mistake.

Senior- College: Unmotivated, lazy and fulfilling a very ambitious course load. Has no money.

here

I like san Francisco and do not want to leave (or go back to school)

Spree

When I was younger, I was a big fan of Goosebumps books. It was a gift from the publishing world: as kids, we never have the chance to make our own decisions Now, with these choose-our-own ending books, we had the empowering opportunity to make decisions for others. Although the characters were purely fictional in a purely fictional situation, we dictated how the story would end. I admit that I was weary of the outcomes. Even as a seven year old with a limited vocabulary and the naivety that would make my mother proud, I saw through the disguise of trouble that lay ahead. Obviously he shouldn't crawl into that dark hole in the neighborhood abandoned house, what kind of person do you think I am? Yet, after making all the "safe" choices that ultimately led to the most desirable outcome, I went through each possible scenario, carefully navigating through the story and encountering the consequences or happy endings. 

In retrospect, I feel like a lot of choices I've made were chosen through this exact method. Sometimes the luxury of time does not exist and I am forced to quickly make a decision. At the first sign of uncertainty, I make the safe choice and move forward. Its only when I have bypassed the situation that I stop and consider the available options and therefore assess if I had made the right choice. Unfortunately, my foresight is not as keen as it was reading those books. 

I guess that's why I'm in the business school.

---

On a side note: if it weren't for the extended periods of power outages as a result of typhoons hitting Guam and the island's poor infrastructure, I probably would have never read. So, by association, thank the poor management of the government for my success (or lack thereof). 

Did this really happen?

Because I've been sick, I've been asleep more than I've been awake in the last two days. While this has been the case, I have been the most productive in the time I actually was awake (except for the missing class part). I even did something voluntary when it came to a group project!

Adding more to the pot of satisfactory news, Alex came over last night to deliver my Chinese homework and spent the night. There is nothing better than a second nose and a pair of eyes to look out for signs of my apartment burning down.

Aside from my fear of burning down my house, its nice not having crippling episodes of anxiety.

I'm so glad this quarter is almost over. Let's hope I pass all my classes.

Speaking of classes, this is how my last real quarter of college looks like:

	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday
8:30
9:00
9:30
10:00
10:30		MKTG 490 A BLM 304		MKTG 490 A BLM 304
11:00
11:30
12:00
12:30		MKTG 410 B BLM 311		MKTG 410 B BLM 311
1:00
1:30
2:00
2:30		I BUS 490 B BLM 408		I BUS 490 B BLM 408
3:00
3:30
4:00
4:30 p	I S 300 B BLM 209		I S 300 B BLM 209
5:00 p
5:30 p				I S 300 B BLM 402
6:00 p
6:30 p				I BUS 491 F BLM 207
7:00 p
7:30 p
8:00 p

I know, right?

Do you have any tips on how I should get through a 10 hour school day (with a one hour break after a 6 hour block)?