On 2009

I'll keep this short and sweet (and unrealistic):

Curb my spending (even on food)

Pay attention in class

Be nice to people

Do something worthwhile and stop feeling sorry for myself (right)

I doubt any of that will happen. Tonight, my brother, Michael and I are going to go to a dance boutique. What exactly is a dance boutique? I'll let you know.

Are any of you concerned about the ongoing financial crisis? What is to happen to all those people, companies, countries, etc, dependent on American consumer spending? How about the enlightened state of Americans and their relationship with money? Maybe its a good thing that this era of consumerism/materialism is over. These things are so complicated. Maybe this is why I don't like to think about these things.

Washington DC looks like this

Old lamp or something

Old street or something, Smithsonian- Hall of Mammals, Natural History Museum

Smithsonian, Hope Diamond, Gem Exhibit (it was magical!)

Washington Memorial/Reflection Pool viewed from the Lincoln Memorial, Lincoln Memorial (bigger than you think)

Thomas Jefferson memorial

Metro, Capitol

Library of Congressss

Supreme Court (the spiral staircase)

National Portrait Gallery/ American Art Museum, Metro- Dupont Circle

Do you want more? I like the Metro

Since I learned that I will be graduating sooner than expected, I have been having occasional panic attacks concerning what I will be doing after I graduate. Here are some of the options I am considering:

1. Teach English somewhere in the world
2. Teach for America
3. Non profit work* in Seattle
4. Non profit work in the Bay Area
5. Non profit work somewhere in this world

(Who would have thought, right?)


Things I am not considering:

1. Admin-assistant
2. Working on Guam
3. Getting a job in China through my parents' hotel connections
4. Big business anything

The problem is actually finding a job in this terrible economy!

*Non profit work in terms of education, economic development or microfinancing.

Washington DC is

impressive, ambitious, competitive, a hive, powered by Blackberries, patriotic, sensible shoes, suits and ties, aggressive, commercial, politally correct, neutral, efficient.

I like the subway and old things. Where are all the cool record stores?

There is also a 15 year old, 20 pound cat living here!

Documenting our hysteria: Liz and Frances studying for finals

My last two finals are today. Liz and I have been at Victrola since 6:30 this morning, it is now 9:30. Our first final is at 2:30 and our last final will end by 6:30.

9:28 I just told Liz how excited I am about finishing my finals. It has been a series of emotion since we started studying- I was depressed, then anxious, then angry, now I'm excited. Liz has finished half of a liter bottle of cranberry juice. She is now going to the bathroom. She is pointing aggressively at me on the way to the bathroom.

9:31 My body feels like a stretch that cannot be satisfied. Does this make sense to you? I am taking a sip of cranberry juice, I should keep my urinary tract functioning properly. Liz says that, through my liveblogging, we've reached new lows. She is laughing with her cranberry juice in her hand. She says, "I feel like we've taken drugs...it's only 9:30 Frances! *extending her hand* we have a lot of time left [before these tests]".

9:34 Liz is on her computer, I don't believe she is doing things relevant to studying Finance. I don't want to look at her or else I'm going to laugh. I am going to look at finance material now.

9:35 Liz is laughing to herself. I don't want to look at what she's laughing at in fear of being severely disturbed.

9:36 I want to cheat on this test. Liz is shaking her head at me.

9:40 I wonder if focusing on a piece of material for a long enough time and whether it is possible to internalize it just by looking at it, not necessarily trying to understand it. I don't feel like doing any more practice problems (I'm not exactly doing any problems, I'm just looking at them)

9:43 While switching songs on my iPod, I hear whatever Victrola is playing. I know this band but the name slips my mind, I know there is something with a horse in the name. I'm looking at Liz and she looks like she's concentrating very hard. She is pressing buttons on her calculator. I am certain I will fail this test.

9:45 "Bizarre Love Triangle" comes on shuffle and I decide that I really like 90s dance music. Liz is making funny faces.

9:47 Tim calls my phone and I give it to Liz. I tell her to tell him that we're liveblogging. Tim is coming here. I am worried that I will have to shift all my things to accommodate his physical needs. That doesn't seem right. I need to pee again. Or poop, I'm not sure yet.

9:53 Liz sticks her hand in front of my face as I'm trying to work through a problem and asks if I've posted this yet. I say no, she pulls the large bottle of cranberry juice from under the table and says thanks, she feels much better. She slouches into her chair and reads out loud. I really need to pee but I'm embarrassed. Liz and I have collectively used the bathroom at least 18 (10 for Liz only) times. I wonder when I'll stop liveblogging. This is more fun than you think!

10:00 I just received a call from my landlord and I will be signing another lease. I hope I don't stay here for another year, I would like to move to another country/San Francisco. Liz says there are a lot of kids here and that they are "cute", I really think she means that she wants to steal them. Liz is muttering to herself and is pointing aggressively again at me. She is also doing robot movements and speaking in rhythm. She is talking about WACC (weighted average cost of capital) and how she wants to punch Tim when she sees him.

10:02 Liz is talking and I am not listening to her words anymore because I'm distracted by these men behind me who are talking loudly. Liz is telling me that she needs a brush because her hair is nappy, whatever the fuck that means. Liz is talking about her hat and how she bought it at Walgreens for $1.50, she is planning to buy more.

10:05 Out of nowhere, Liz tells me that her mom has buckteeth, demonstrates how her mom looks and says that "its very cute". I think this is a good place to stop. I seriously have to pee.

Out of Control

I like this picture of my mom and niece number 1, Alora. I am pretty sure that there was food in Alora's mouth when this picture was taken. I want that jade bracelet my mom is wearing. I was supposed to have it over the summer but was not able to because there are no proper jade polishing facilities on island, so I will have to wait until my mom goes to Taiwan/Philippines to get it done. I wonder what my mom cooked in this picture, I'm sure it is delicious. This is the dining table that has been in my family for years. When we were younger and my mom would leave the island for business, she would place a gallon of water and a box of cereal under this table in case of an earthquake. I also remember when this table was in my sister's condo, my dad was ironing a shirt on the table and damaged it. My mom was upset about this as this table was expensive. Do you like the tribal table cover and the fake plastic birds of paradise (the flowers)? How about the pink accent wall? My room, which is also painted pink, is to the left of that wall.

I am digging myself a deeper hole by blogging instead of doing homework. It is almost 4pm on a Sunday and I have not studied for any of my finals. What am I even doing! I want to go to the liquor store. I have been listening to David Bowie's The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust... album for days now!

Graduating/Epic

Homer (my guest on Thanksgiving)


Alex (is so handsome)!


El Guincho at the Nectar Lounge 11/24


Now that I have your attention, I hope you are ready for something epic.

After I had been admitted into the Business School and CISB program, I met with the CISB counselor to map out the rest of my time at the UW. Since I had applied to the program a year later than most people, we had forecasted my graduated date to be Winter 2010. However, when I was doing some academic planning in lieu of listening to important test material, I realized that I could graduate as early as summer 2009 (While I am compromising a decent grade in that class, I figured that realizing the possibility of graduating is far more significant than understanding the concepts underlying project management). I spoke to two academic counselors about my forecast and I was absolutely right-

I will be graduating this summer!

This is amazing news because I was already starting to internalize the fact that I would be miserable in the business school by myself while two out of the two friends I have in the school will have long graduated. The best/worst part about this situation is that, by the end of my college career, I will have accumulated over 220 credits (180 is the minimum amount to graduate). This is the best/worst because I both maximized/wasted my time and money at the UW, depending on which classes that I feel were either beautiful (aka Mr Deblois) or stupid shit (aka business school prerequisites).



So how does it feel knowing that one is graduating a lot sooner than expected? Where do I even begin?

Let's start with the superficial- I'm happy that I get to graduate with my 2 (out of 2) business school friends, I'm relieved that I don't have to waste money on bullshit books, I'm excited to have a life outside of Balmer or Foster (where all my business class are and will be for the next 30 weeks), NO MORE BUSINESS CASUAL, and, probably most importantly, I'm glad I will be out of an extremely competitive environment.

Further into the emotional depths, I am happy for my parents because all three of their children are(will be) college graduates. If it was one thing that my mom constantly told us (aside from "guys don't like loose girls"), it is that we needed to graduate from college in order to have a better life. This was normal considering that my siblings and I were generation 1.5 of having the opportunity to grow up in America and have all the opportunities that it entails (to a certain extent on Guam, I guess). Where would I even be if it weren't for my grandfather who made this all possible for us? Being a college graduate continues the legacy and I feel that it legitimizes the sacrifices of my grandfather/family. Let us hope that I actually do something worthwhile after all this. Probably not.

Finally, I address my fear and insecurities. Having believed that I had an extra year of school, didn't seriously think about my after-college plans. Especially in the visual sense, looking at the numbers that compose 2010 seems like decades away. Now that graduation had moved up a year, I feel like there is a sense of urgency that I need to address. There is no validation to maintaining this lifestyle if I'm not in school anymore, especially if I am foregoing a secure job in lieu of "doing what I want". How will I maintain this lifestyle? This loft?!

I've considered several options of my post graduation plans, mostly romantic ideas of how I want to travel and teach and help people but, I feel that I need to be realistic about my actions, or at least be able to convince my parents that I am doing something valuable. While my mom always encouraged doing things that we enjoy, there was also the issue of $$$, as most immigrant families have to address at some point. I think she was secretly hoping we would like to be doctors, lawyers or financial geniuses. Her sociological experiment worked to some extent with me but ultimately failed when I realized that I hated the business school and do not want to have anything to deal with large amounts of money and investing it in ideas, or anything to that degree. I still like China though, don't ask me to explain why. I'm not ready yet.

I feel like starting this internship gives me some kind of direction since it will contribute to my sparse resume, especially if this is the path I want to follow. I regret not getting involved with anything, really, during my time in school, but I will defend myself and say that it took me a long time to find out what my "passions" are (Don't ask me about this one either, I'm also not ready to explain). We'll see. 21 is the new 16; I'm still young, right?

I think it is ironic that I am writing about how I am going to graduate yet am not making any attempt to study for the three finals I have, especially since I am extremely uncertain about how I will do in these classes. I'm still going to go with the rationale that knowing that I get to graduate is more important than learning about bullshit. Let's not rain on my parade. I feel like I've been prematurely celebrating though by rewarding myself with material goods, let us hope my parents feel like I deserve these things or else I will have to ask for a bailout.

---

It is only fair that I address the topics that people have requested in the previous post.

"10. How it is fun to drink and socialize and dance(in that order)"

Since I've been 21, I feel like I've both abused and made the most out of having the privilege to drink. This is especially bad since my parents are the ones who finance my consumption. In previous years, I was a self identified social hermit and refused to speak to people unless spoken to (mostly because I hated my life/Eamon). And, like everyone says, drinking is a social lubricant. In the last couple of months, I feel like I've reintroduced myself to all my friends and vice versa. I've learned some interesting things about myself and other people as a result of drinking. For example, I guess I turn into an unrestrained asshole when I drink. I make multiple threats and swear at people with no shame. This is not ladylike. Then there is the dancing. Making a perfect segue from socializing with friends, dancing is the perfect way to end a night. Whether it is at a show or dance clubs, dancing further demonstrates the unconfined nature of having a genuinely good time with friends. Those of you who have gone dancing with me understand this. Also, if dancing is the option of the night, then there is less room for me to become an asshole and talk shit. That is important to note.


"11. The substantial weight I've put on in the last year and how my appetite has gone through the roof!"

Although you may not see the difference, there have been significant changes of my physical entity. I cannot comfortably wear pants that I own, which is especially difficult during these times of double pantsing. My face is fatter, my thighs are rippling (in the bad way) and I have a belly. While this is all unusual for me, I had a feeling that my metabolism couldn't keep up with the amount of food that I eat. Liz and I are eating champions, especially for girls of our size. I cannot even describe how this is possible, it is even harder to quantify how much food we eat. Would you like to see this in action? Take us out to eat, especially at any one of our favorite restaurants, and you will see.

--

It is 12am, which technically means I have a final tomorrow that I have done absolutely no studying for, in two days I have two consecutive finals that I have done even less studying for. I hope that I can validate my bullshitting with decent grades.

In about two weeks I'll be visiting my brother in DC for the first time, as you already know. I've been rereading his blog, which is still as funny as the first time I've read it. The August entries are especially entertaining! If you ever want to get second perspective of my family, I recommend reading it. Maybe you can also get some insight as to how I am the way I am.

I'm tired/hungry, I may or may not vomit. This is all. No proper transition to the end.