What!

SHOW YOURSELVES!

If All Else Fails

From the relative ease of producing over eight pages of marketing bullshit, maybe there is a career for me in writing marketing plans. I'd like to think it was well written. Would you like to read it?

This is in contrast to translating and defining trade terms from English to Chinese.

My eyes are going to explode from looking at this computer screen all day.

I guess

The Rise of the Black Hipster

On losing my creative edge

I feel like I used to be so funny:

December 13, 2006

It's the eve of my last final for Fall quarter. It's unfortunate to say that the margin between doing very well and poorly is quite small depending on the material my professor decides to test us on. In my defense, it's not very easy, nor is it encouraging, to condense 700 years of world history into a weekend of studying. At the same time, I am still recovering from stuying for my Chinese exam. It's too bad that my method for memorizing chinese characters isn't the same for world events that happened in the 13th-20th century unless I can find a way to create humorous mneumonics/emoticon-type faces and attach them to significant revolutions. 

Last Saturday, I had two finals that occurred within 5 hours of eachother. In midst of the rotating depression, fatigue, confusion and frustration, I had to stop and wonder what my purpose of being at the University was. Did I really want to routinely go throuh the mental anguish and abuse that college offered? At that point, I decided that living on a farm and producing as many children as possible didn't sound so bad. My purpose would be clear cut and I didn't have to worry about grade point averages, resumes or student loans. Even by thinking this I have set the feminist movement thousands of years back but its perfectly natural to wonder why, these days, we're confined to the social pressures of following a linear path that leads to happiness and success. Whatever happened to being content as a housewife?

Naturally, after getting the finals over and done with and the mental recovery thereafter, I decided to half-take back what I thought. Although I like the idea of pursuing my biological destiny, having the opportunity to create and experience things is a part of personal development, essentially meaning that we should be enjoying life. I'm guessing the "enjoy" part of final exams comes in the rewarding period after it. Besides, as far as I've heard, bearing children isn't exactly fun and games. And who knows what happens when things go wrong with the farm. 

While I feel like the only thing I excell at in college is mediocrity, the list of things I could prospectively be good at is becoming more defined. It's not quite international studies, math, economics or science but at least I'm getting there. 

I used to also be so conscious:

August 1, 2006

A lot of the time, I've become so consumed in my material world that I forget to remember and acknowledge the simple things that we all take for granted. A home we can call our own, a refrigerator full of food, running water, power, and all other "basic" amenities (i.e. cellphones, cable, airconditioning, Jack In The Box) that aren't essential to our natural survival are credited to my lifestyle. With those things alone, Ive already made it better than more than half the world population. Blinded and conformed to the vision of the Western life, Ive assumed the identity of a hoarding consumer in search for bigger, better, shinier material objects that act as ornaments instead of truly investing in my well-being. 

Ill admit it: I like stuff and I wish I had more of it. I often dream of becoming the owner of the most up to date useless paraphernalia that wont promise better grades (This was once a personal tactic for my parents to buy me things) or reason with myself that, since it was "insert season here", I deserve to indulge in the latest trend. It was okay to me because everyone else was moving forward in technology so it was virtually necessary for me to buy things. It is in the same league as running water or shelter; I needed stuff to survive in the city. 

I come back to Guam every year since I moved to Seattle in 2002 and each time that Ive been back, it becomes apparent to me that Ive lost some part of the Guam in me. Living in Seattle, Ive become so absorbed in fitting in that Ive forgotten where my family came from and I eventually feel like Im some kind of urban impostor when I come home. My family isnt rich and we werent bred to believe so. Both my parents came from humble beginnings. My mom was raised in a small province with ten brothers and sisters so opportunity, as you can imagine, wasnt always readily available. My grandfather worked as a farmer in a town where if you were born a farmer, it was more than likely you would die a farmer. He worked to feed his family from the land that he didnt own and if it werent for recruitment by the American military, we would have never made it to Guam to pursue the American dream. 

Struggle is a recurring theme in my family, as many immigrant families can relate. Although we may not embody the rags to riches ideal, weve accomplished a lot for a family who has roots in third world poverty. What I resent the most is the fact that I gave myself the impression that I can bypass all struggle and believe that I could go through life without having to lift a finger. In my eighteen years on this earth, Ive witnessed my family go through an entire theme park (as opposed to the lone rollercoaster) of struggle manifested through sickness, financial need, unexpected pregnancies and the ongoing household instability. Despite all this, look where we are now: I attend a nationally recognized university, my brother is doing the work he loves, my sister has a loving family and my parents (Uncle Chris included) have the safety net of support, reassurance and direction they were once in search of. 

With this as my legacy, it isnt right for me to think that I can automatically assume the metropolitan life without regarding my familys history. It is practically my duty to use the life skills and experiences weve witnessed as a whole and using it to bring the family name to a higher level. Although looking cool and having all the right gadgets may in one way or the other seem necessary, I have to stop and think about who I am and where I came from instead of taking into account how others perceive me (and Im pretty sure this will take a while). My parents have provided me a better life that wasnt intended to exploit their hard work through clothes or knickknacks but to encourage me to work towards an even better life. I wrote this with the intention to show the negligible effect of materialism on my life/outlook on life, which is almost like a calling towards you all. Im not one to quote but Im sure you can all put this to good use, If a man cares not for his roots, how then can he care for his branches

I was also very whiny:

July 12, 2006

Sitting two rows from the end of the plane, I've come to clearly see, in my extremely fatigued and uncomfortable state, the worsening condition of air travel. Apparently, $1200 isn't enough to get proper service. In this day and age with constantly improving technology and material sciences, one would imagine that flying would be a reasonably comfortable mode of transportation but I guess with today's oil prices, they have to cut down on peanuts/salty alternative. Actually I just hate Northwest now. 

In the duration of plane ride 1 of 2, the plane lost power twice while taxiing, my foot has been hit by the beverage cart, peanuts/pretzels weren't free, I stood on people's pee in the bathroom, my chair was constantly being kicked by a little baby (which cried half the time, btw)... so basically, I feel like I'm not getting the type of service, or at least security, that I/my mom paid good money for. We even had to search for our own pillow and blanket. Only halfway through my travel time, I am beginning to hate flying more and more. 

Im really bitter about this experience because the flight to my first connection is usually my designated time to sulk and cry because of how much I miss everyone already in Seattle. Instead, my chair is being vibrated by a small child and I want to punch this child's face.

I'm in Hawaii now and I don't leave for another two hours which gives me time to do absolutely nothing.

 

It's common sense but not sensed commonly

Rather than paying to see and analyze in a third person perspective (via college), learning about one's cultural heritage and its contemporary issues should be encouraged at home. 

Do you know where your child is?  

We're all little pieces of shit

Just to put some perspective on our petty lives, here are some pictures taken by the Hubble Telescope that I really like:









I guess I'm not as special as I thought.

These pictures were taken from here.

Impossible

It's 2:30 in the morning and I just finished my Chinese essay. It is only 380 characters long.

Coming soon:

A letter to the Ambassador of the American Dream cc: Public Relations/Human Resources Department
-A note on senior citizens, among other things

Are you interested in reading this?

Boners for seafaring

The world was simple- stars in the darkness. Whether it was 1947 B.C. or A.D. suddenly became of no significance. We lived, and that we felt with alert intensity. We realized that life had been full for men before the technical age also- in fact, fuller and richer in many ways than the life of modern man. Time and evolution somehow ceased to exist; all that was real and that mattered were the same today as they had always been and would always be. We were swallowed up in the absolute common measure of history- endless unbroken darkness under a swarm of stars. 

-Thor Heyerdahl, halfway through the voyage from Peru to Polynesia on a balsa wood raft/ Kon Tiki

Etiquette

I'm sure there are many similar posts concerning this issue but it doesn't hurt to further emphasize or passive aggressively encourage people to take note of their actions.

Things about Metro riders that I cannot stand:

1. People who do not have their fare prepared as they enter/exit the bus. I absolutely hate waiting for people who are paying in uncounted coins when they have plenty of time to prepare beforehand (this only refers to those who have been previously waiting at the bus stop or had been on the bus and not to those who had to run for the bus).
2. People who enter the bus talking on their phone.
3. People who have extended conversations on their phone.
4. People who talk loud on the phone.
5. People who take up two seats by putting their belongings on one seat and refusing to move their things despite the lack of seat space for other riders.
6. People who listen to music loud enough that it can be heard through their earphones.
7. Kids who play songs on their phone via speakerphone.
8. People who are rude to the bus driver
9. Angry people who blame the bus driver (and make unnecessary comments) for their terrible commute
10. Smelly people
11. People who take forever to get off the bus.
12. People who forget to pull the cord to stop and, instead, yell at the bus driver to stop.
13. Teenage girl gossip
14. Loud, unnecessary swearing


Any combination of these gives me an anxiety attack. This happens quite often.

Hamsterdam

It's like The Wire in real life:

"At the recommendation of a national commission charged with addressing Portugal's drug problem, jail time was replaced with the offer of therapy. The argument was that the fear of prison drives addicts underground and that incarceration is more expensive than treatment — so why not give drug addicts health services instead? Under Portugal's new regime, people found guilty of possessing small amounts of drugs are sent to a panel consisting of a psychologist, social worker and legal adviser for appropriate treatment (which may be refused without criminal punishment), instead of jail."

Time.com

Soon enough. 

School again

I'm experiencing an unnecessary amount of difficulties because I can't find two classes to satisfy the remainder of my CISB requirements. The plan is to graduate by the end of the summer (preferably by the end of the A-term) but the program advisor is giving me a hard time about the classes I can take. What frustrates me the most is that I'm not allowed to have a class that met two requirements actually count for two requirements. This is what I would like to call a business school conspiracy.

I would like to blame everyone, including myself, for my struggles but its probably best that I should put my head down and power through. I will, even after all this bullshit, bureaucracy and brownnosing, graduate by the end of the summer. 

I'm even volunteering for CISB. Who would've thought.

Jellyfish Lake Palau

This is beautiful. I feel so lucky to have visited this place, even if I was terrified of touching them (it was impossible not to).

Shit talking

I'm one of those people who owns an impressive amount of pens and highlighters and takes meticulous notes on everything the teacher says. Even though the teacher provides us with the material that is being reviewed, I will still take detailed notes on everything that comes out of their mouth and further dissect it into more digestible pieces of information. I will then rate the relevance and importance of the information, both the original and dissected version, and color code it to my liking, where the legend of what the highlighted information means only exists in a mental legend, secured by me. I will do these things almost mindlessly as I am excellent at multitasking- I listen to the lecture, refer to the given notes and highlighting and changing colors as needed.

When the time for an exam comes around, I will then look over this my stack of notes- each session's topic neatly separated by colored post it notes or tabs. I take all the information and extract what is needed for the test. This is easy because of my color coded notes. I will compile the important notes into another file titled "review sheet" where I can list out the categories of things I need to study, use the information from the notes I have taken to supplement what is discussed in the book, neatly checking off each segment after I have mastered everything.

If I am lucky, the teacher will allow us to have a cheat sheet on the exam. I will use this to to my advantage. Because I am blessed with the skill of writing extremely small (due to my thorough notes written on the margins of my teacher's notes), I fill out the entirety of the allotted space and, of course, color coding it based on sections of what we've learned.

I am not this kind of person.

Kon Tiki

As recommended by Alex, I started reading Kon Tiki as part of my regimen for personal development (not actually happening). The premise of the book revolves around a Norweigan explorer's quest to prove the theory that people of Polynesia sailed from Peru, rather than Asia, on balsa wood rafts by reenacting the theorized expedition. After forming a six member crew of burly seasoned adventurers (such as a Swede who spent a significant amount of time in South American jungles doing research on native tribes or another man who was described to be everything I would imagine a Norweigan sailor to look like, complete with red, bushy facial hair). He describes a number of barriers and bureaucracy they had to go through in order to get access to the materials, government clearance, financing, etc for the trip. What surprised me is that the process they had to go through was not difficult at all (compared to contemporary times, at least)- while his theory was immediately dismissed by his colleagues, either his credentials are unquestionable or he is extremely charismatics managed to get everything he needed without any personal investment. He met with officials from from different organizations and countries, including the President (king?) of Peru, which granted him the support in the form of supplies, access to the naval base, equipment, "free passes", navigation tools, among many, many other things. In fact, these people were more than glad to offer their services, even soliciting the crew to test out prototypes for new technologies.

This project occurred over fifty years ago. I understand that things are not the same as they once were but doesn't this all seem too fantastical, to romantic to ever occur in real life? There is no way that this project could be carried out today. I also have a feeling that hardy, seasoned sailors and explorers are hard to come by, except, of course, in the case of reality tv..

It's hard to displace ourselves and think of a life that existed without modern technology. We are the generation of value menus, digital convergence and unnecessary consumption and will probably find it very difficult to spend one day without any of the above. Perhaps that is why I find it odd that there were so many people involved in the process of Kon Tiki- exploration and knowledge of the known world were their investments rather than raising GDP or finding ways to be more economically competitive.

Who wants to invest in my voyage?

Alive

I promise I'll post soon. I have no idea what I've been doing the last month.