I always considered myself to be an emotional person. Ask anyone I know and they will definitely agree. I will also admit that I cry a lot. When it comes to saying goodbye, war movies, being tired or having panic attacks due to not having enough time, for example, it is almost guaranteed that I will cry. With the amount of crying I do, I feel that the tears that I produce are now losing its effect. I promise they aren't crocodile tears. I'm just emotional.
Today, I found out that one of our cafe's daily regulars, Punchy, passed away last night. It was only this Tuesday that I found out that he was really sick. Vanity was talking to him and found out that he had a kidney infection and that in 6 months time, he was going to go back home to Alaska to, quite simply, die. As soon as I started work today, Calvin (another regular) told us that he had passed away last night. While my normal response would have been to cry, this time was different, it wasn't the petty stress of time management, it was permanent. Punchy passed away and I saw him just two days ago.
After working at the cafe for so long, all the daily tasks have already ingrained themselves into my subconscious. Work is a reflex, a choreographed event that I've rehearsed countless times. The regulars were part of this event. They were static beings. I knew their drinks, their crowd and the time of the day they would come in. They held the door open for me when I would throw trash in, let me in through the back door and asked how school was.
I didn't really have a close relationship with Punchy as I do with the other regulars. He would come in, order a small coffee or chocolate milk and then sit at one of the tables and watch people. I never really talked to him aside from taking his order, because he was always so shy and I, being a shy person myself, did not want to intrude. He and Levi -another regular- were buddies. I usually see them just people-watching together as our cafe is known for its prime people-watching location. I often wonder where their families are or what they do when they leave the cafe. While I wasn't close to Punchy, he was still a fixed character in the social setting of the cafe. Who will people watch with Levi now? It breaks my heart knowing that he won't come in anymore. He was the only regular who bought chocolate milk.
I feel that Punchy passing away struck closer to home for me because I thought of my own father who has also established himself as a regular where he lives. He lives a fairly simple life: he teaches on the weekdays, attends church on Sundays, goes to the neighborhood drug store for his needs and reads books at Barnes & Nobles when he has free time. He drinks decaf coffee, buys organic and walks as his method of exercise. Every time I talk to him, which is usually on Sundays, he is usually eager to hear about what is going on in my life. I am extremely thankful that my father is healthy and is continuing to exercise both his body and mind. However, while my dad seems to be content with his life, he is getting older (it is his birthday this weekend). I don't even want to think about what is associated with that.
So now what?
My condolences go out to Punchy's family and friends. He's in a better place now.
I didn't mean to post consecutive posts on sad things but I guess I am sticking with the theme of me "going through a lot". Have a good weekend.
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