Force feeding duck style

Dear Readers,

I am finding it extremely difficult to write a paper that advocates the change I need in life but do not participate in because of the exact reasons I address. Is this confusing to you? Let me explain in quotes that I've explored-

1. I think I could turn and live awhile with the animals...
they are so placid and self-contained,
I stand and look a them sometimes half the day long.

They do not sweat and whine about their condition,
They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins,
They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God,
Not one is dissatisfied...not one is demented with the
mania of owning things,
Not one kneels to another nor to his kind that lived
thousands of years ago,
Not one is respectable or industrious over the whole earth.

2. Leaves are not more shed from the trees or trees from the
earth than they are shed out of you.

3. I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journeywork of
the stars

-Whitman. "Leaves of Grass" (1855)

1. The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them.

2. Man is timid and apologetic; he is no longer upright, he dares not say 'I think', 'I am,' but quotes some saint or sage. He is ashamed before the blade of grass or the blowing rose. These roses under my window make no reference to former roses or to better ones; they are for what they are; they exist with God to-day. There is no time to them. There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of its existence.

-Emerson. "Self Reliance"

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Those probably didn't help my cause.

I have been awake for a full 24 hours. It is almost 7am. I cannot even give a reasonable estimation of how much time I've dedicated to this paper. If it were any other assignment, words, critical arguments, perspectives and compelling evidence would have poured out like smooth diarrhea with a clean finish. Is this what college is about? I think I am developing a stress hernia. I need to study for my Chinese quiz in 3 hours.

I will probably sleep until tomorrow.