Guys Don't Like Loose Girls

Real Estate

2011-02-06T23:16:00.001-08:00

It's so catchy- and we were there!

the Philippines

2011-01-24T01:35:00.000-08:00

With a 93% literacy rate and with English as an official language, the Philippines has become a lucrative labor market for (more or less) industrialized countries to fill their own labor shortage. Currently, there are over 11 million Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) worldwide, roughly 11% of the entire population of the Philippines. Coming from a pool of varied skill sets, Filipinos are hired to do anything from construction and domestic help or aids, to entertainers and sea men, to doctors and nurses. Every Filipino family has at least one member working abroad, and it is a goal for most Filipinos to work abroad and earn foreign currency. After all, remittances account for 14% of the country’s GDP, bringing in billions of dollars each year.

It’s become apparent that the Philippines, with such a sterling reputation for its contribution to the global work force that much doesn’t necessarily translate to what occurs in the homeland. While billions of dollars come into the country every year, nothing in my opinion, at least when it comes to infrastructure, has changed. Shopping malls and condos have a higher priority than mass transit and the development of a better highway system. Regardless of all the statistics you hear, I feel like the incessant traffic of Metro Manila is one of the worst. I can’t even begin to explain how it’s so bad.

With the last two generations paving the way as OFWs, the promise of a better, wealthier life living in a foreign country has been instilled in the minds of the current middle class generation. I mean, I guess it’s true considering the large number of Filipino immigrants to the States and their relatively high incomes. And I guess my family made it out too, but anyway let’s not digress. A fairly common golden ticket to the land of the free and higher valued currency is through a nursing degree. While I was in the Philippines, I’ve noticed the number of schools advertising –often named after Saints or other religious figures- nursing programs (there are hundreds of privately owned colleges offering technical and nursing programs), as well as the number of students, mostly young girls, dressed in their nurse outfits (unlike the States where they wear scrubs, students are required to wear all white and wear that white hat thing). Among the cousins who are my age, three of them are studying nursing. Perhaps it’s the middle class upbringing, or moving to liberal ass Seattle- actually, I take it back, it is because of my middle class upbringing and moving to liberal ass Seattle that I feel some sort of unwarranted bitterness/sympathy for the lack of diversity when it comes to advanced studies. Again I digress. Filipino nurses have a bubble of their own. While nurses are still in high demand worldwide, the Philippines have produced so many that they are regulated in foreign countries, and since there are so many nurses in the Philippines already, the domestic market for nurses has been long filled. But what do I know.

But I guess my real concern or problem or whatever is the Philippines’ obsession of living a comfortable life. Every middle class family has one or two live in maids that do everything from childcare to cooking and cleaning and even hand washing clothes. I don’t know where this trend stems from, but I’d like to think it originates from the Spanish empire and telenovellas, where all protagonists live dramatic, physically painful lives and ultimately get their big break getting rich somehow, as well as the Philippines’ deep infatuation with American/Western consumerism (most American brands can be found in the Philippines), materialism and extravagance. This all is part of the cycle when it comes to OFWs and remittances and studying to become a nurse. For those who work abroad, it is common and expected that a majority of their income (if they aren’t married to someone abroad) to send money back to their families. You can tell when a family has a member abroad when additions, extensions or remodels are made to their modest homes. The same applies for kids and Nikes. Should we blame the colonizers?

With the number of talented and educated Filipinos living and working abroad and a percentage of young people studying and training to work abroad, and ultimately returning home for a comfortable retirement in the province, what does that leave for improving their homeland? iPhones and Levis jeans have successfully integrated itself into the culture but recycling and mass transit, some indicators of a industrializing country, are scarcely found.

While I was born in the Philippines, I’m an American citizen and have not lived in the Philippines so as a disclaimer I cannot say that I fully understand the dynamics of what happens in the Philippines and what I say here is purely observation and opinion. I will say though that the Philippines is a beautiful, diverse, culturally rich place with wonderful people and delicious food (and even more delicious tropical fruit) and you should all visit.
--

In other and possibly more controversial news, I went to Taiwan and it was great.

Revisiting goals for 2010

2010-12-31T01:36:00.000-08:00

These were my goals for 2010. How much have I accomplished?

Make my own money
-Yes
Not lose interest in scuba
-Went scuba diving twice!
Go to these places:

Thailand
-Went!
Mongolia
-Nope
Philippines
-Yes!
Phase out flannel and bangs
-No comment.

Speak Chinese
-Technically, yes.

Its been a good year!

2011年的愿望
1。养一只猫（最重要的!)
2。跟研究所有关的事 (是个秘密!)
3。存钱（不可能!）

笑话

2010-12-31T00:33:00.000-08:00

This is a joke my 16 year old student told me. Her English isn't very good so her translation of it wasn't very clear, but it was good enough for me to get the gist of it.

Q. Why didn't [a famous terrorist's name] try to attack China?

A. Apparently he did.

He sent four men to do his dirty work for him. The first man is was told to blow up some famous bridge (I don't remember the name) but there were too many bridges and could not find it. The second man was sent to set a bomb off in a public space but before he did, someone stold his bag. The third man was to blow up a bus but failed to do so because there were too many people inside for him to even get on. The last man was sent to blow up a coal mine. This man was successful but no one heard about it because these coal mine explosions happen too often to be worthy of news.

-

Statistics show that the number of people who use the internet in China has reached over 450 million people, almost a third of the country's population. The Chinese government, notorious for its censorship, is scrambling to come up with ways to control what can get published on the internet. My teacher has told me that for every major city, there are thousands of people that monitor messageboards or forums and promptly delete or pursue these 'dissidents' to uphold 社会和谐- or social harmony. However, with the growing number of users online in China outnumber the number of people keeping them in line and news travels fast. I frequently visit a number of websites that are translated from Chinese to English (such as this and this) and while there are still some things posted by these netizens that make me uncomfortable (nationalism and gay issues), its refreshing to see that people have the ability and access to the social injustices that occur everyday. Its something I guess.

The popular catch phrase and story behind"我爸是李刚" or "my father is Li Gang" is an excellent example of the power of people online. Check it out!

称呼

2010-12-14T02:02:00.000-08:00

称呼 cheng1hu (n)- form of address

In China, it is considered impolite to refer to a person's name directly so it is more common to attach a title or "称呼" before their name, or even just calling them with a "称呼".

Here are some common ones

服务员 fu2wu4yuan2
waiter/serviceperson

小姐 xiao2jie3
Chinese equivalent to "miss", except that in the South, it can refer to a prostitute

老板 lao2ban3
boss (only for men); can refer to a man working in a shop

小朋友 xiao3peng2you3
"small friend"; refers to children
(my personal favorite)

阿姨 a1yi2
auntie, but usually refers to an older lady, as well as a cleaning lady/nanny

师傅 shi1fu
master, but refers to anyone with a skill. I've heard it commonly associated with taxi drivers.

大姐 da4jie3
big sister; an older lady but not that old. I call my landlord "大姐" because I don't know her real name.

heard it through the grapevine

2010-12-14T01:26:00.000-08:00

According to my Chinese source (aka a real Chinese person), if one was interested in purchasing a new car, whether it is domestic or imported, it would be impossible due to high demand and production constraints. Instead, one can make a deposit on the car and wait for three to six months for your desired car to be available. She also says that the demand for cars was a result of some sort of government regulation that will prohibit cars currently on the road from driving everyday. Current regulation says that on one day out of the week, depending on the last digit of your car's license plate, you cannot drive or else you will be fined. New legislation will increase the number of days to two days a week so, because the car lifestyle has made it into China, car owners are scrambling to buy a second car to insure that they can drive everyday.

I find this amazing- China with their unprecedented manufacturing ability and status being unable to satisfy domestic demands for cars. At the same time, cars in China are significantly more expensive than the rest of the world, even if they are local brands. And, according to "my source", these local brands are much poorer in quality despite being comparatively priced with their international counterparts.

But I'm sure your biggest concern is not China's car policies but this- what kind of car is "my source" in the market to buy?

She and her husband are planning (or have already bought?) a new Mini Cooper, which is appropriate since they both lived in England for a signficant amount of time.

And how much is she going to pay for this car (or have already paid?)?

Before tax, 290,000 RMB (about $45,000). And of course, since it is China and places extremely high taxes imported goods (according to some quick research, the tax on imported cars could range from 13-33% of the base price) , the price will have dramatically increased by the end of the transaction. This makes you wonder how people are able to buy a car, a house and pay for all that entails when average yearly salary is around 36,000 RMB/$4,500 (according to some quick search online).

Of course she and her husband didn't have to pay a dime, the car is a wedding gift from her husband's family. They're generous.

Wikileaks

2010-12-07T00:55:00.000-08:00

US embassy cables: African countries prefer Chinese aid to US-China cooperation

"Sunkuli claimed that Africa was better off thanks to China's practical, bilateral approach to development assistance and was concerned that this would be changed by "Western" interference. He said he saw no concrete benefit for Africa in even minimal cooperation. Sunkuli said Africans were frustrated by Western insistence on capacity building, which translated, in his eyes, into conferences and seminars (REF C). They instead preferred China's focus on infrastructure and tangible projects."

Since they seem to be a crowd favorite in Africa, I won't be surprised if China becomes the new hot thing in international aid. I could only imagine what goes on in meetings between aid recipients and US aid organizations- a lot of buzzwords, synergy and empowerment workshops coupled with feasability reports and market research while China has built roads and power lines.

看热闹儿

2010-12-07T00:25:00.000-08:00

看热闹儿 kan4 re1nao er - "To watch the fun". Usually used in reference to an event in which people crowd around to watch.

I’ve seen more street fights in a month in China than I have ever witnessed my entire life. The reason could come from many things- perhaps people in the States are more discreet about their first fighting or resort to passive aggressiveness (the spirit of the Northwest). What is more interesting than the fist fights, however, is the crowd that forms around these fights. From petty shouting matches to actual bloody fist fights, people have no shame in gathering around with their hands behind their backs and casually watch, spending a few minutes watching and then shuffling off with their miniature dogs. In America, this type of event would rarely happen, possibly because we are conditioned to believe that it is not polite to stare and that we should help those in need. So when encountering a fight, more often than not, bystanders become empowered with the spirit of the love for mankind and quickly put an end to these blasphemous actions. It’s another thing for the men of the law. In America, who isn't afraid of the cops? But in China, I’ve noticed the nonchalance as well as the blatant disregard by the police when it comes to disorderly conduct. Is this a no man’s land? Without guns, that is.

“你不像“

2010-11-30T20:45:00.000-08:00

Here is a typical conversation I have with older Chinese people:

“你是哪国人”？

Where are you from?

“我是美国人”

I'm from America.

“你不像”

You don't look like an American.

Fair enough.

I also look like I fall under the following ethnicities:

1. Indian

2. Mexican

3. Every single South East Asian country

4. NW Chinese/Central Asia (I think this is a stretch, but it has come up several times)

a sample of Chinese people going abroad for school

2010-11-30T19:24:00.000-08:00

A: 16 years old. Highschool sophomore.

She lives in a small, average apartment in northwest Beijing with her mom. Her mom, who works sporadically, and seems to spend a lot of her time watching TV and napping. When asked what she likes to do in her spare time A responds "I like to stay home, watch movies, read books and sleep". Her mom decided that she will spend the rest of her highschool, and perhaps even her college, in Australia. She will be leaving Beijing indefintely in January. Her mom recently took her out of school in order to focus on improving her English before leaves. One day, her mom asked me to look over some documents for her study abroad program. It cost over $18,000 Australian dollars. I asked A how she feels about leaving the country and whether or not she is excited to be in a new place. She responds, "I just want to stay home."

B: early 30s. Some type of manager in small company.

She studied in a small school in some college town in England. B talks about how she had a hard time adjusting to the culture. At that time, the exchange rate from RMB to GBP was 17 RMB to a pound. Remember in China you can have a full meal for around 8 RMB, probably even less than that at that time. B couldn't get a cell phone because in order to do that, she would need to get a credit check. Of course, as a foreign student, she had none. She said that she was spit on and chased by kids who lived in the town (she says the town was very blue collar working class). In order to save money for a trip around Europe, she slept on the floor in a one bedroom apartment and never bought anything that cost more than a Pound.

C: mid 20s. Work at the same company as B. Watches movies all day.

Spent some of his high school (perhaps he was 17) and college in England. Gentle giant (he is really big!). He had a great experience in England. He drove a second hand BMW, had a lot of friends, was part of a basketball team, had a part time job and probably was never spit on or chased because he was so large.

D: 18 years old. Just started college in Philadelphia.

D comes from a very wealthy family from the Liaoning Province (not very far from Beijing). Apparently, D was one of the best in his class academically except for English. His mother took him out of class in order to improve his English before he left for the US, spending at least 100,000 RMB ($15k) for a month's classes (English schools make a killing here in China) in Beijing. For a month, he lived in a hotel by himself while meeting with a tutor for three hours a day. At the end of all this, he gave his tutor a framed fossil that, according to D, is a famous export from his province because some mountain near his home is full of fossils.

E: Around 16 years old.

Like D, comes from Liaoning Province. His family moved to Beijing because the schools are better here. His family has two homes in the city, one is modest apartment in central Beijing (near our place) and the other, according to his tutor, is practically a palace in north Beijing near the Olympic Stadium. His family lives in the smaller apartment during the week because its near his school. I have a feeling he is the son of a coal mine owner. According to his tutor, he does nothing except study for school and go to a number of mandatory extracurricular activities. However, he does have all the new technology- iPhone, iPad, nice bike, etc. I'm not exactly sure if he/his parents are going to send him abroad for school.

F: 18+, maybe started college in Virginia.

Son of a coal mine owner (the "new rich"). Drives a nice car, has a lot of money, according to his tutor, all he wants to talk about is cars. He wanted to go to school in L.A. but did not have grades good enough to make it and was instead accepted to the University of Virginia. English was terrible but didn't care.

Stuff I Like: Electric Hot Water Bottles

2010-11-22T03:11:00.000-08:00

After our down comforter, this is my only source of comfort in this house. Since the comforter can only provide me warmth while I'm in bed, this allows me to function around the house like a real person! The best part about the kind I have is that it is a belt/fanny type model, which makes doing things around the house a [warm] breeze! Until I have to plug it in again, that is.

Tokyo Subway System

2010-11-20T01:19:00.000-08:00

What were they thinking? Is this some kind of a joke?

(Please click here to see how amazing it is.)

Stuff Frances Likes: The Beijing Subway

2010-11-17T03:24:00.000-08:00

How can you not be impressed by something that came from this (such humble beginnings)

and will transform to this

in less than five years from now?

The first image shows the development of the Beijing subway, the first railway system in mainland China. Line 1 and 2 were open to the public since 1984 and remained unchanged until the construction of Line 13 in 2002.* Winning the Olympic bid for 2008, as we all know, prompted an explosion of city-wide construction, which is when the Beijing Subway got its big break. Between 2001 and 2008, seven new lines (4, 5, 8, 10, airport express and the Batong Line) were created covering Beijing's sprawl and in the next 5 years, in addition to the extension of some pre-existing lines, another 8 new lines will be created.

As we've seen with the 2008 Olympics, I think we can all agree that Beijing has the capacity in all respects to make this possible. Its also fair to say that the government is doing this for the greater good. After all, has mass transit ever been unpopular? The Beijing metro, I feel, is probably one of the more impressive feats of power that the Chinese government has implemented. Aside from the fact that they had the extra money to finance these immense projects, they were done in a short amount of time. Remember, this is one of the more populous cities China, and there are a lot of people and their homes that needed to be bought off, relocated or forced out. It is especially interesting when you think about how long it takes to approve similar type (or even less intrusive, sometimes) projects in the States. For as long as I've lived in Seattle (8 years since I left last year), the Viaduct has always been a hot topic - but the Viaduct still exists in the same physical state today. Who knows what could've happened if the government (whichever one) had taken control of the project with benevolence in mind and just did it.

I guess that's why the States are the States and China is China. And I guess having some excess money in the government wouldn't be so bad either.

*I was told by my Chinese coworker (who we like to call a real "Beijing-ren" or Beijing person) that the subway was put on hold for a long time because of the underground city )

归园田据-陶渊明

2010-11-14T21:23:00.000-08:00

种豆南山下，草盛苗稀

晨兴理荒秽，带月荷锄归

道狭草木长，夕露沾我衣

衣沾不足惜，但使愿无违

Stuff Frances Likes: Cats

2010-10-24T20:51:00.000-07:00

Was this really a surprise?

My earliest memories of cats was when we would visit my grandmother's house and she would feed her (the community's?) cats leftovers. She would call out "ming ming ming" and it would be the cats' cue to come and eat. Paulo, my brother, is also very fond of cats. It is probably because of him that I have this anthropormorphized, very romanticized view of cats. I feel like maybe sometimes I want to be a cat- they are cool, calm and collected, mysterious, good looking and everyone wants to hang out with a cat! And if the cat didn't want to hang out, no one would care because its a goddamn cat and thats what cats do.

This article best illustrates how I feel: Million Dollar Question: Why does the web love cats?

Stuff Frances Likes: Doing things the hard way

2010-10-23T03:48:00.000-07:00

Or: In my defense of my actions

Perhaps the best and most recent example is manually copying pictures of various sea creatures for my students. I could have easily had them photocopied somewhere but, of course, when it comes to doing things in China, one (me) would often opt for doing things themselves rather than having to interact with a real Chinese person. I spent a good two hours meticulously tracing sharks, turtles, whales and penguins and fish onto colored paper and then carefully cutting 6-7 of each animal. There was also some home laminating going, using packing tape to "laminate" each animal and again re-cutting the animal's outline. Did my students appreciate my hard work? For a moment, until they ripped the heads off.

Another good example was my controversial (to some) move to China. I could've easily stayed back in Seattle and found a "real" job and do my part pushing papers, contributing to a retirement program and taking the occasional exotic vacation wherein I binge drink and go clubbing. Instead, I moved to China, the place where the world loves to hate, a country full of superlatives and continues to make global headlines. However, if there are millions of people learning Chinese, I must be doing something right.

Living in China has not been easy for obvious reasons- culture, language, people, climate, customs, etc. Finding an apartment, navigating public transportation, eating food or shopping all runs the risk of us being cheated or ripped off because we are foreigners. Knowing that we have overcome all of this, as cheesy as it sounds, shows the ability to overcome ambiguity. Especially if learning a second language is involved. If I can do it in China, where it is impossible to do anything the easy way with a limited knowledge of the language, I can do it anywhere!

Doing things the easy way can materialize in a certain demographic; I like to think of my peers who work to make money and spend it on frivolous things like the newest iPhone, expensive clothes, drinks at the club or vacations to Vegas (notorious for spending money faster than you earn it). At some point, they will settle down and start a family, unless the baby comes first and then the plans are mixed up. It makes me uncomfortable thinking of pursuing a lifestyle like this knowing I am capable of other things. What, exactly? That's what "doing things the hard way" is about, I guess. Something more relevant, more worthwhile and something that contributes to society, more than just the immediate economic effects that occur when I buy and consume.

Stuff Frances Likes

2010-10-21T00:41:00.000-07:00

1. Chips

People who are close to me may have witnessed my fierce passion for all things thin, seasoned, crispy and deep fried. My relationship with chips best illustrates my lack of self control- there is no way I can eat just one. Instead, I will most likely consume an entire bag in a short amount of time. I also refuse to share. Of course I would not explicitly say it, but instead opt not to ask or simply move elsewhere to privately indulge.

Some of my favorites:

I don't necessarily "like" eating chips. Or, I do but I just feel like a monster when I do eat them. I can't ration them and save them for a period of time, considering I attempt to break world records for shoveling handfuls of chips into my mouth. Is this what the relationship between obese Americans and heavily processed foods looks like? Luckily, my access to chips has been stifled by the lack of big grocery stores and is instead replaced by barbecued kebabs, roasted duck pieces and fresh noodles. You know, real China.

Posture

2010-09-09T00:28:00.000-07:00

We've all heard this one before: parents trying to get their children to do something to enhance their lives. The children -taking their parents' benevolence as a form of dictatorship- will do everything in their power to refuse. Their acts of protest? Crying, whining, running away and faking illness. Of course, I was that kid, truly believing I was a free thinker and exempt from "those" things. I was the prototype of a modern woman (not really). If I had listened to my mom, I could have been a Chinese speaking ballet dancer who played piano recitals on the weekends. At home, I would've been able to sew curtains, a nice party dress all while preparing a three course meal.

I've tried to make up for lost time by learning how to cook. I can still sew with a needle and thread, make a skin tight tube dress to hit up the clubs but definitely no gown for a ball. I can speak just a little Chinese and if you consider the cha cha to be similar to ballet, then I'm not so far off from those idealistic dreams of my mother.

My latest attempt at reverting/reclaiming my mom's life tips is trying to improve my posture. Lately, I've been attempting to sit up straight for as long as I possibly can but find that it is very similar to being punished or exercise, which I avoid at all costs. I like to attribute my terrible posture to the way I sleep at night. I would describe my sleeping similar to how a hedgehog might look like, curling myself into a ball as a last defense if ever someone tried to attack us at night.

When I was younger, my mom used to receive catalogues that sold those products "as seen on TV", like those magazines that sold pre-seeded mats that, when watered, would grow a beautiful flower patch (I really wanted one) or novelty clocks or utensils. While looking through this magazine, my mom used to threaten me by telling me that she would purchase this bra-type thing that somehow improved posture by keeping your shoulders back. Maybe she should've gone through with it. I could've been a Chinese speaking, ballet dancing, piano playing, excellent hostess/seamstress with good posture. What a catch!

Alternatives to the beach

2010-09-04T21:59:00.000-07:00

After living in medium to large cities like Seattle and Beijing, I find it hard to believe that I spent a significant amount of my life on Guam. I often wonder about what I did as a kid, what did I do in my spare time on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. People find it odd that I didn't spend my time at the beach, or hiking in the lush tropical forests or singing praises to the nature gods for a good harvest. I did, after all, live on a tropical island. Don't all island people do that? It's an island in the Pacific! 85 degrees EVERY SINGLE DAY.

It's actually more common than you think for people on Guam to not spend time at the beach and take part in water related activities. There is a fair share of old wives tales and real stories about people dying or losing limbs because of one thing or another related to the power of the currents and tides, so going to the beach was out of the question for most kids. Then again there is the case of getting dark which is absolutely forbidden for little girls, so asking to even play outside before 6pm was considered suicide. Remember, the goal is white porcelain and you, and definitely not your future husband, wouldn't want to jeopardize your future for that golden glow caused by cancer causing sunlight.

My brother and I turned to the arts when we were kids. We dabbled with landscaping, utilizing recycled (read: things we stole from the abandoned house next door) materials and native plant species, as well as interior design with again, recycled materials (cardboard boxes), and working with our client's -our mom- existing furniture to fit our small budget. One of our biggest and most successful projects was the Amazonian rainforest inspired front porch we designed and built, complete with working fountain. We've experimented in fashion design where inspiration was drawn from dominatrixes, superheroes and science fiction. I would say we were very minimalistic in our approach, only using scissors (think of a lot of tearing with our hands), recycled clothing (have you noticed a trend here?) as well as random pieces of fabric intended for curtains that we stole from our mom to create a look. Many of the outfits that we've produced were one of a kind pieces, often being constructed to fit the body, or Barbie's body, perfectly and is intended to be thrown out afterwards. Our venture did not last long due to the lack of public interest, considering Barbie and I were the only clients. I'd like to think it was because my brother was too much of a forward thinker in his vision and the public was not ready for it.

We also made home movies, specializing at both live action and stop and go animation. Some of our work includes a live action remake of The Little Mermaid, with Ursula recast as an evil and larger than life bulati (sea cucumber) and short film of a day in the life of Barbie and Ken which was probably one of the most difficult movies to produce. Probably the most work intensive and most rewarding of all is Faces of Fri, which is the only film that is available for viewing today, only in VHS form. Written, directed and produced by my brother and starring me (as all roles), Faces of Fri is a three part short film series of a trio of friends -Susan, Roman and Faludi each with their own "unique" personalities. Susan is the aspiring model, Roman is the academic, and Faludi seems to be the empowered female with an agenda. The film follows the girls on seemingly normal adventures- sleepovers, meeting a new friend and a day outside in the yard- but things go awry when they discover that the house is haunted which, for some reason, gives them special powers, the new friend is an English bitch and playing in the yard is actually more dangerous than you think. The film was produced on a very low budget but my brother did a remarkable job filming and editing and I am still impressed with the quality of the film.

While my landscaping, interior design, fashion design, and movie making would be nothing to write home about today, I believe I was at my creative peak at eight years old. Maybe the island was my muse and if I head back then I could channel some of that creativity again. I'd rather not take that chance though. It's an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean for crying out loud.

Dreams about my old house (on separate occasions)

2010-06-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

A freewrite

One

The house looked like this in my dream, except that it was located in a dense neighborhood, where you could see into people's houses from one's window. My family was moving back in, but while they were transporting things, I had to stay and wait in the house by myself. The house had no doors or windows and plants were growing into the house. It was a little scary, so I called my friend Tom to come stay with me while my family was away. Tim and Liz were my neighbors -they called me from their window- and they told me I could stay with them until my family got back, and that they had eggplants growing (the thing about this detail is that Tim said that they had "qiezi", which is what "eggplant" is in Chinese) and that I could eat with them.

Two

I came back home for vacation. I remember the people next door -when I was growing up- had a nice, big yard. In my dream, the people next door had a huge swimming pool in their backyard. Instead of twins (who were my neighbors in real life), they were some kind of Western European expats. There were several kids, and they all had blonde hair. I later discovered that my mom had become some kind of animal enthusiast while I explored my house -the house was huge and castle like for some reason. She had an indoor pool dedicated to aquaculture. Our yard was a complete opposite of the house next door with their clean pool and well manicured grass- it was an "organized jungle" with distinct areas for plants and garden sculptures. There were exotic big birds in the yard, and even monkeys. I remember finding some kind of animal -I think it was a dog- that was hidden in plain view, like it was camouflaged in the foliage, because my mom wanted to hide it. I kept thinking how surprised I was that my mom changed her opinion in regard to animals (she never really liked keeping them). The next door neighbors came over and we all explored the house together. My room was in the basement (which we didn't have).

Three

There were kids with me (maybe around 9, 10 years old) in the house. Our family had moved out of the house, but for some reason I came back with these kids. I think we were going somewhere. Or meeting someone. Being back at the house happened by chance, and I was excited to tell the kids about it. I told them about all the secret rooms in the house, which weren't really secret, like the 1/2 bathroom downstairs that we never used (in real life, we never used the downstairs bathroom, I don't know why). The pantry (which we never had), was blocked by a desk of some sort. I needed to move it so we could get to the food inside. I remember opening it and seeing a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese.

---

Why have I been having all these dreams about this house? This house was always special to me because its the one place where my family lived in the longest. My brother and I filmed many home movies here, unfortunately only one -Faces of Frances- survived. I am convinced it is haunted (a story for another time). It makes me sad to see it in this state.

The Loft

2010-06-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

When my brother moved away from Seattle, he was unwilling to let go of his catch of an apartment. Like a prized heirloom, he wanted to keep the place in the family. Luckily for him I needed a place to stay once I got back from China. After graduating from the UW dorms and a brief stint in First Hill where I lived in fear that I would be abducted by the homeless people living in the camps by the freeway every night, my brother's apartment was the Renter's version of the American Dream. The apartment was two story one bedroom loft with huge windows facing 15th Avenue on Capitol Hill. The neighborhood was super hip and comfortable. Aside from that, I won't get into details and specifications of the apartment and neighborhood because it will just emphasize how much I didn't deserve living in that apartment. Also, I do not want to instill feelings of resentment and bitterness towards me.

Because of the way the apartment was laid out, I couldn't really have any roommates, or I could except that I would have no privacy. I opted for privacy. A lot has been said about a person being by themselves, and so of course hilarity ensues. I stopped working because I started taking 18 credits a quarter, which meant I spent more time at home. I confined myself to my bedroom upstairs, except for the occasional back to back Seinfeld and Frasier from 10-12pm. I bought plants (for decorative purposes, not to improve the air quality) and knick knacks, in attempt to "tie the place together" and less like it was put together with clipart*.

I soon filled the place up with stupid shit like candle holders in the shape of a chicken, oil lamps, wooden fruit, excessively large glass vases and ceramic owls and fish plates. Say what you want but I didn't purchase them with the intention that they were ironically hip. Then, through a combination of reintegrating back to Seattle life and the depression that follows and the fact that I can be a little weird sometimes, I started to develop some OCD like behavior. For one, I was truly convinced that I was going to burn the apartment down somehow so everytime I lit candles, blowing them out wasn't enough so I would put them in the freezer, of course, making sure that they were really out and not one of those trick candles that lit up again. If I had used the heater the night before, I would check the thermostat before leaving the house, which meant that I would be at the door and wasn't quite sure if it was off so I would go upstairs and check it again. The same went for checking to see if the door was locked. All the freedom and luxuries of living by myself was lost because I felt that everything I did would destroy the apartment, including turning the volume up on my speakers.

In retrospect, I wish I had moved out of the place. I would've saved a lot of money, and would have probably had one of those enriching college-aged experiences through interacting with real people. Then again I wouldn't have a fun story to tell.

*We accumulated a lot of furniture from various people -other college students- and places so nothing really matched. It was a very utilitarian aesthetic.

Beijing Subway

2010-05-03T23:52:00.000-07:00

Wudaokou is one of those places that one never has to leave. Fortunately for me, I have to leave this (practically) Western sanctuary for work and venture out into the unknown of Beijing sprawl. To do this, I spend a lot of time on the Beijing metro and it encompasses all the elements of a love hate relationship. It is an incredibly cheap form of transportation, costing only 2 yuan (or $.30) a trip to anywhere in the city. The extensive and efficient system allows me to rub elbows (and even more than that during rush hour) with a decent sample of Beijing- migrant workers with their dusty toolboxes, highschool students in their matching jump suits, hip kids with big hair and studded boots, white collar workers, etc. And everyone, of course, is on their cellphone. Texting, sexting, playing games, watching movies, anything a cellphone is capable of doing. Transfers from one line to the other act as a form of exercise for me as I find myself going up and down stairs, speed walking to avoid the impenetrable wall of people and the occasional use of brute force -think of football training- attempting to enter and exit a crowded compartment (it gets really crowded). The experience is also a time for me to exercise my underutilized brain by listening to podcasts or doing some crossword puzzles. Since Chinese people often think I am also Chinese, I get a lot of curious stares when they see me writing or texting in English (because it is both crowded on the train and Chinese people have no shame about snooping). On days when I am tired and search of a rare, coveted seat, I gauge each seated passenger's likelihood of getting off at the nearest stop or transfer and hover over them in hope that I was right and they leave at the next stop. More often than not I am wrong and spend the entirety of the trip bitter and angry. Maybe I shouldn't look so eager when I hover.

cats

2010-02-12T23:02:00.000-08:00

"How to store & organize cats"

I have to do everything against my will to stop myself from getting a cat/a real friend when Alex and I have our own place in Beijing.

bioshock

2010-02-11T23:19:00.000-08:00

The weather on Guam everyday

What we will be experiencing in Beijing

A Good Provider Is One Who Leaves

2010-02-03T15:41:00.000-08:00

"Deprived of their father while sustained by his wages, the Comodas children spent their early lives studying Emmet’s example. Now they have copied it. All five of them, including Rowena, grew up to become overseas workers. Four are still working abroad. And the middle child, Rosalie — a nurse in Abu Dhabi — faces a parallel to her father’s life that she finds all too exact. She has an 18-month-old back in the Philippines who views her as a stranger and resists her touch. What started as Emmet’s act of desperation has become his children’s way of life: leaving in order to live."

From the New York Times

Is it already February?

2010-02-03T04:41:00.000-08:00

I apologize for the lack of posting. I've been conducting mental ethnographic research of the people of Guam but had been so overwhelmed by the amount of information that I cannot properly process and produce any kind of substantial material. I assure you- time and energy permitting- the content would be groundbreaking and sensational. However, it is hard to really have any personal projects realized when I am wrangling a terrible two, driving the Princess around (Alex) and working on various projects for my family (like I said, I am multipurpose). Alex had previously made a comment about how babies are good sleepers through their ability to sleep through being moved in an out of temperature and light controlled areas. I am finding myself to be the same way between the hours of 10-11:30pm, nothing can prevent me from sleeping. What do you know, its about that time again. This is nonsense.

I used to live here

2010-01-26T14:48:00.000-08:00

This was the house that we lived in from ~1994-2000, which is the longest period of time we stayed in one place (I can think of at least seven places on this island we lived in). Doesn't the house look scary? I am convinced it is haunted. My brother and I had a lot of fun in this house- it is where my starring role was filmed, DIY landscaping (including a fountain!) as well as raising several generations of dogs.

I wonder who owns the house now, and if the guava tree in the backyard is still there.

babysitting tactics

2010-01-15T17:29:00.000-08:00

some of the hits

my personal favorite

Alex loves this song
Of course

Straight from the horse's mouth

2010-01-13T04:32:00.001-08:00

Taking care of kids should be a capstone on a resume.

广州

2010-01-06T19:58:00.000-08:00

From China Hush, but was first translated from Netease-

At the end of 2008, Guangzhou was identified as a pilot city for the construction of democracy and the rule of law. And on January 1st, this was put into practice. This means that in administrative areas, water, electricity, gas, the price adjustments of public services, matters of emergency response, the central government will report to the Guangzhou Municipal People’s Congress. In the event that the central government makes decisions that exceed their power, the Standing Committee of the People’s Congress can revoke those decisions according to law. Waste incineration, power generation and other livelihood issues are now to be decided by the People’s Congress.

While 关系 fueled local politicians and their friends will still run the government, this is something.

This dog

2010-01-02T15:56:00.000-08:00

I read an article in the China Daily relating the Tibetan Mastiff to be a symbol of the monied class. LOOK AT THAT FACE!

China does it again

2009-12-31T20:04:00.000-08:00

new year goals

2009-12-31T03:51:00.000-08:00

Make my own money

Not lose interest in scuba

Go to these places:

Thailand

Mongolia

Philippines

Phase out flannel and bangs

Speak Chinese

spanish empire residuals

2009-12-27T17:11:00.000-08:00

Spanish colonizers' cultural imperialism and its effect on the Filipino middle class

Part 1

Three generations ago, my great grandmother/her family was part of the provincial aristocracy where etiquette and formalities were king, also where Spanish and Latin were still widespread. Her daughter (my grandmother) was in love with a man who was not of their social class. As familiarized by many dramas and tragedies, my great grandmother did not approve of him because he was "poor", prompting (again, a familiar scene) the two lovers to elope. This did not meet the time's etiquette protocol; it was pure blasphemy. Fast forward to the next generation where my grandmother, the rebel, was raising my mom and her siblings. My mom told us a story -which is my inspiration for this post- of when my mom brought her friends to their home. Once they were gone, my grandmother, states that she does not like her friends because "they don't know how to sit". If my grandmother met my friends, she would probably disown me.

Then there is my own mother who continues this legacy through the manicuring and training of my nieces, ages 1.5 and 6. They learn to "sit like a lady", to always have a bag, hair clips and other accessories that match their outfits, to stay out of the sun and to enroll in some type of fine art. There have been multiple attempts to "civilize" me but my mom, another family rebel, was too busy earning a living to bestow upon me the Geronga pedigree. I'm also pigeon toed and could probably never sit like a lady. There are still times (many times) that I am harassed for not fixing my hair or wearing high heels.

Part 2

The Filipino Channel is probably the best example of the residual power of the Spanish aristocracy. Prerequisites to being on TV includes having light skin with straight hair, the high "pointy" nose. Women, of course, must be able to "sit like a lady", be tall, wear high heels and dress tastefully. Men must be tall, clean shaven and preppy. It is not uncommon for a movie star to run for office and win. Although not necessarily an elected politician, Imelda Marcos couldn't have had her way if it weren't for her beauty queen sashes.

I also remember, growing up, we watched soap operas that were actually Spanish soap operas but dubbed in tagalog. Example: Maria Mercedes. I can still remember the lyrics to the opening song! Frances trivia part 2: When I lived in Bicol (the place where the volcano is/has erupting/erupted), I owned a pet chicken named Thalia (named after a Spanish soap star). This chicken pecked my foot one time.

Part 3

The entire middle class has a maid to take care of their children, do their laundry, cook food and run errands, leaving them to be melodramatic, acting as if their lives are a soap opera plot (and it is sometimes!). Everyone (women) believes that their lives are the hardest and everyone around them should be sympathetic.

Everything is a conspiracy with me

The power of the The Filipino Channel

2009-12-21T16:53:00.000-08:00

It's been recently apparent to me how central Filipino TV entertainment is to the international Filipino community. The commercials between programs are constantly peddling efficient ways to either communicate with your relatives back home or agencies and organizations that provide cheap alternatives to remitting money. It also seems that Filipino movie stars are just as effective (if not more) than the Philippine consulate when providing assistance and comfort in foreign places. These people are living legends- if you are Filipino, then you know who these people are! The standardized programming covers regions like Australia, South and East Asia and even to areas in the Middle East. I suppose this makes sense since the Filipino people are the country's largest export, representing over 14% of the national GDP. And the programs they will watch! Variety shows, song and dance (everyone is an actor/singer) and Filipino versions of American standards galore!

A lot of news is coming out of the Philippines these days. Massacres, martial law, and then this volcano erupting (or about to)! Here is a piece of Frances trivia- I used to go to school in the area by Mayon Volcano in Legazpi City and could see the volcano every day!

think of the children

2009-12-14T16:54:00.000-08:00

I don't think its a stretch to say that the same few people and families have been running the Government of Guam for the last, I don't know, forever. When a new face finally made it into the Legislature, an investigation into his past shows that he had been arrested for breaking into a mall when he was in his teens. His negligence to report the "crime" when applying for candidacy has stimulated one of the bigger people's movements that I can remember (remember, this is over breaking into a mall). If people were as passionate about things that were actually important like teenage pregnancy rates or the lack of funding for the Department of Education, then I wouldn't be so bitter.

It is frustrating to see how nothing has changed on Guam. Road construction is an anomaly because they seem to be working on the same stretch of road every year. I am also surprised that the Department of Education seems to be functioning despite the number of headlines (at least a small percentage dedicated to it every year) saying how there is not enough funding to pay their teachers. How are so many of my peers already parents? Let's not even get started on energy and the active discouragement of renewable resources(how does my mom pay over $500 a month on their power bill?!). My opinion may be discredited because I had spent time living in the States but I believe I'm provided with a perspective that gives me the ability to see through the ignorance and obliviousness of the people of Guam.

And then there's the Congresswoman...

available credit

2009-12-05T04:44:00.000-08:00

Every day there is a stand in the subway manned by several young-ish attendants getting people to sign up for a credit card, offering a free gift (tupperware, alarm clocks, stuffed animals) in exchange for their information. The table is always crowded and it doesn't take much for people to get them to sign up for one. Seeing that I've passed this table at least twice a day, in one of the busiest parts of town, I'm positive that thousands of applications are turned in every day, if not tens of thousands considering Shanghai is a city of at least 14 million people.

Having my own experience with credit cards and the chaos that ensued, I get nervous thinking about the number of people who are "awarded" a line of credit every day in China, especially in the big cities that are enamored with the sparkles, glitter and sequins (tasteful ones, of course) of Western consumerism. Credit seems to have a good impression on Chinese consumers considering the number of labyrinthian shopping malls that exist in all directions from here. Of course credit doesn't end at the shopping mall, the ubiquitous Union Pay can be used to finance your extravagant wedding photos taken at the Great Wall, your sleek new luxury car or fine imported wines (did you know that they like to use mixers with wine here?). It's just like the states except in China where there are at least a billion more people, not to mention the severe income gap between urban and rural populations.

I don't want to give the impression that I think credit is a bad thing, I'm just worried about the increasingly available consumer credit in China, and everywhere else, has the potential to be a terrible thing!

On how I want to travel everywhere when I earn money

2009-11-24T18:35:00.001-08:00

Having the luxury of living in a place with an extensive rail and air network, I feel like traveling has suddenly become more accessible to my socioeconomic class (that is when I actually start making my own money and have the opportunity to independently join a socioeconomic class). Southeast Asia and Eastern Europe are within a stones throw and it is easy to make plans that can be realized in the near future. I've recently become infatuated with the idea of visiting Mongolia after our hostel dorm mates told us about their time there. Spending time in a place that hasn't embraced Western capitalism and all its baggage and instead retaining the nomadic lifestyle full of unpaved, unmarked roads in the desert traversed by four wheel drives and noble steed. I know how its cliche but I am amazed at how much of this world there is to see.

And I still haven't visited all the places I want to see in China! The list is long and is continually growing and I hope that I have both the time and capital to make the daydreams become a reality. It's just too bad about those student loans...

In other news, Alex and I are still in Shanghai. We discovered an arcade that spans an entire floor in a shopping mall that has games that I have never seen before including card games that virtually come to life when you place these cards (like Magic cards -are those even cool anymore?) on the table, Dance Dance Revolution with a twist (incorporates hand movements!) and games that test your reflexes and balance. Arcades have come a long way from Skee Ball and shooting baskets (which I'm surprisingly skilled at)! We switched hostels to a more central location in Huangpu near all the fancy buildings with all the lights that make Shanghai's skyline famous.

The best thing about this move is that there is a delicious Chinese restaurant downstairs (with an ENGLISH menu!) that serves the best 鱼香茄子 ("Fish flavored egg plant", does not taste like fish) I've ever had. Sorry Liz.

In about two weeks Alex and I are heading to Guam to both save and earn some money working for my parents and various other organizations willing to hire us for a short amount of time. First and foremost, of course, I will be a live in nanny for my sister's kids, where my one goal is to have them perform a coordinated song and dance routine reminiscent of the Von Trapp kids. Two months is a long time.

Until next time.

On how I love Chinese street food!

2009-11-20T07:57:00.000-08:00

One of the worst things about not being fluent in Chinese (in my opinion) is ordering food. I often get flustered when ordering food and try my best to avoid it when it involves actually speaking to someone. I've been tricked into ordering too much, or have ordered not enough food (ie. two crabs) that the whole process of going to restaurants has traumatized me. Ordering food at restaurants isn't just a matter of saying what you want and instead incorporates a long series of questions and answers, and you know how Chinese is with tones, if it were a beauty pageant, I would've said something about world peach rather than peace. This "conversation" is also preceded by the antsy server who is hovering as you browse through the menu (that hopefully has pictures). I feel like I'm being interrogated for a crime or that I'm taking the waitress away from more pressing issues.

In an effort to reduce my restaurant anxiety, I've taken to the streets.

Nothing I can say can give street food justice. The whole industry incorporates everything I believe in; its cheap, fast, fresh, lots of variety, and the process involves pointing and saying how many you would like. Street food encompasses a large range of food so you will definitely find one you like the most. My personal favorite is the jidanbing (not to be confused with jIAnbing), which translates into "egg pancake". It's a fried dough pancake thing mixed with an egg, topped with some black bean sauce (I think), spicy stuff, lettuce and is served like a taco (something tells me I won't be able to make a living as a food critic). Price for one of these is usually 4RMB ($.60). The picture below is of a premium jidanbing which is pretty much a jidanbing sandwich.

Another street food staple is "chuan"/"chuar", which are skewers but nothing like what we are accustomed to in the states. These pictures were all taken during my first trip to China in 2007.

The bottom type of chuan is squid which I enjoy very much

random types of vegetable wrapped between tofu pieces

These are skewered pieces of everything you can imagine that range in price from 1RMB to 5RMB. They are cooked on a grill (don't worry, these people are professionals!) and spices and sauces are put at your request.

Can't you already see the appeal of street food? I know Alex has. I'm so proud of him, he can go out and buy street food all by himself!

Another type of street food I recently discovered is fried rice/noodles. One of these stands happen to exist right outside our hostel here in Shanghai. A big plate of fried rice or fried noodles costs 10RMB ($1.50)! Alex and I have been patrons of their stand -they even have a little picnic table to sit at, a sure sign of their success - the last two nights.

I should also mention that big dumplings ("dabao") are 1RMB each (the most expensive ones are)!

I feel like I've gotten so excited over street food that my coherence and wit have faded away.

Anyway, while street food is amazing, there is still a lot I have to experience (that occurs within walls) when it comes to Chinese cuisine. My goal is to become familiar with the Chinese food characters/terms so I won't have to deal with the ambiguity of the restaurant scene. Or I guess I could just speak Chinese more. Oh well.

tricked

2009-11-18T21:37:00.000-08:00

I would be lying if I said that the reason why I haven't been posting is because of a lack of relevant material. So I won't lie.

After Liz and Colin left Beijing, Alex and I found ourselves at a loss of what to do. There was no more herding around, sights to be seen or awkward situations to find ourselves in. Actually, none of that is true because we're in China and ambiguity is a way of life here. So much for not lying.

In an effort to lift our spirits, Alex and I made our way down south to Qingdao, a city of beaches (right, Liz?) and beer. It didn't take us long to realize that Qingdao was more of a "summer" town, which is much more enjoyable when it is actually hot. The town was far from hot- it was just as cold as it was in Beijing in addition to the crippling wind, not to mention our hostel was had no form of a heating system. Luckily for us, we had our own heating system- Alex's zero degree sleeping bag.

I won't even go into what we did (or didn't do) in Qingdao because of how depressing it was. We didn't even go to the Tsingtao beer factory.

We made it back to Shanghai in an effort to do something productive while waiting for our contracts to be prepared. Our train ride here was another one of those "stories" that could only happen in China.

Because we were tricked by the cab driver into paying 40RMB for our cab fare to our hostel that was less than 5 minutes away (he didn't even have the decency to drive us around to make it seem like it was far away), I refused to take a cab to the train station. Our only other option was for us to take a bus (which is really not an option when one is carrying large backpacks) or to walk. So we walked. Qingdao is unique in the sense that there are actually hills in town, whereas a majority of cities are relatively flat. With at least 26 pounds on my back, a smaller backpack in the front (think of how marsupials carry their babies) and a camera bag on my shoulder and poorly made Chinese boots, these hills (nothing compared to Seattle, of course) were a bitch to walk. Of course, in true Chinese fashion, it goes without saying that we were hassled for hotels or whatever along the way. We have to love China!

There were two things of note when we finally got on the train. The first is that Alex and I were not in the same cabin, the second is that these cabins were full of rowdy children! Of course, Alex immediately became a local celebrity. After we arranged for us to be in the same cabin, the cabin that held only us and these kids, Alex and I decided to play a game of Scrabble. Alex, being the local celebrity, was immediately bombarded by curious 11 year olds. I'm sure if there was enough space, they would've lifted him up and had him crowd surf. Anyway, these kids had the opportunity to practice their English, while learning some new words that we played on the board. According to their leader, Li Gang (when I asked him if he was their leader, he said yes. All the kids kept asking him for advice or help or something), they were on their way to Shanghai to participate in a competition where they use computers to design airplanes. We could tell that they were from affluent families- some had PSPs or MP3 plays, most had fancy cellphones and they all had so many snacks and KFC for dinner (they were all a little pudgy, it was cute).

At one point, one kid was asking Alex what kind of food he liked. He asked things like "Do you like sausage" or "Do you like cabbage", which I thought were pretty cute and endearing.

---

We rode the Maglev train (the only functioning train levitated by magnets!) yesterday. Unfortunately, the train reaches its highest speed -420km/hr- from 10 in the morning to about 6 at night, so Alex was a little disappointed by that. We still got to ride it at 300 km/hr.

Anyway, my fingers are really cold so I have to stop now. Something tells me that the only way to get warm in China is to be in the (real) south.

Great Wall

2009-11-10T17:49:00.000-08:00

We climbed this part of the Great Wall yesterday. I was surprised there weren't massive amounts of tour buses, or even people. We were practically the only ones there!

Check out Alex's Flickr for our own set of Great Wall pictures (this one is from Wikipedia, I don't have access to a lot of bandwidth).

Goodbye Mama Naxi

2009-11-07T20:47:00.000-08:00

It's pronounced Na-Shee.

The first thing Mama Naxi said to us when we arrived in Lijiang was "Mama take care of you...I give you free banana juice"

We stayed at Mama Naxi's Guesthouse while in Lijiang. At the time of writing in our trusty Lonely Planet (published May 2009), Mama Naxi was in the process of building a second guesthouse. By the time we arrived (November), Mama Naxi had completed three guesthouses and is on her way to her fourth guesthouse. If I were still in the Business School, I would love to do a marketing case study on her hostel empire. Old Lijiang is a small place, and for Mama Naxi to have four guesthouses within the city walls implies her control of the youth hostel market share. She seems to know what people like- cute dogs, kisses on the cheek, small gifts and very reasonable prices. Why can't I be like her? Mama Naxi needs to teach at the Foster School of Business.

Since there were no direct routes to Beijing, we had to go back to Kunming (the biggest city in Yunnan) in order to fly out. This involved an 8+ hour bus ride on a large bus (like a Greyhound) on a two lane road that drivers saw as a four lane road. All types of vehicles were on the road- construction trucks, dump trucks, big buses, minibuses, cars, three wheeled cars, trucks with exposed engines that looked like toy cars, bicycles, motorcycles... really everything you can imagine, with every type trying to overtake the other. We feared for our lives- if we weren't going to drive into an oncoming car because we were trying to pass a slower vehicle then we were likely to fall off an unguarded edge off a cliff.

I was on the verge of throwing up the entire time.

We were in transit for nearly 18 hours (we left Lijiang at 830 and arrived in Beijing at one), we had difficulty trying to find our hostel. I found it ironic that the one place that Liz and I are familiar with, it took us a very (very) long time to find our hostel. Our cab driver was a little whiny and scolded us for not knowing the proper address of the hostel so after 20 minutes or so of aimless driving, we decided to just walk around. We walked to the notorious Sanlitun bar street in hopes that someone would know the name of the hostel we were staying at. We were solicited by a ten year old boy saying that he knew where the place was and that he would show us. We were a little skeptical but got over ourselves when we realized that the people who worked at the bar were making fun of us for being scared of a little boy. I was afraid that this boy was going to lead us into a dark alleyway where a gang of his peers would beat us up and take our money. The scene was very likely- this boy was walking very fast through random alleyways that were either really dark or had sketchy bars and clubs that were away from the main street. He finally led us to a shifty looking hostel that actually wasn't the hostel we were planning on staying at and was probably one of "those" kinds of hotels that could be rented by the hour. While this wasn't the place, I still paid my dues to the kid (thankful that he didn't try to beat us up) and gave him 20 kuai (about $3).

Luckily for us, the man at the front desk was very nice and pointed us in the right direction. Kind of. We finally made it to our hostel after an hour and a half of wandering the vicinity. I was going to demand that we not pay for a whole day since we arrived after midnight but I felt shy. I've decided that I'm all talk when it comes to getting things my way.

Anyway, its cold in Beijing (really cold). How are you?

Hot pot in Lijiang

2009-11-07T19:25:00.000-08:00

Despite a developed transportation network (extensive railway, flight and bus systems), our trip across China proved to be very ambitious. For the three weeks dedicated to traveling, we made it to Guangzhou, Hong Kong, Hainan, Kunming, Dali, Lijiang and Beijing, skipping Guilin, Yangshuo, the Tiger Leaping Gorge (in Lijiang), Chongqing and Xian [These names probably don't mean anything to you]. With these places on our original list, I don't understand how we thought visiting all of these places would be realistic.

ANYWAY

We made it to Beijing. How we got to Beijing is an interesting story, and it all begins with the night before we leave Lijiang. We've been using our Lonely Planet religiously, especially taking note of their recommendations for food. Disappointed by our mediocre feast from the night before at Mama Fu's, we hoped that the Blue Papaya would be a better representative of Lijiang cuisine. True to her job's namesake, our waitress was hovering over us antsy to take our order. She recommended hot pot, since everyone around us was eating it and seemed to be having a good time. Lonely Planet highly recommended the place so it didn't hurt to order something we weren't so hot about (haha).

When in China, ordering something with uncertainty can result in a painful experience. Our experience at the Blue Papaya is a perfect example of a meal gone wrong. Without realizing the option of no spice, we had ordered a our hot pot with a spice that would ruin our entire night. Taking into account Liz's pescetarian diet, we had ordered a fish hot pot. Fish in China comes with all the bones. Added with the boiling hot broth (that was literally on fire for a majority of our dinner) and a spice that could have blinded us, there were aspiring Chinese pop stars - complete with flashy outfits and headset microphones - singing as loud as they can through crackling amplifiers and their entourage of loafers toting menus of Chinese classics to the hordes of tourists (probably having a better time with their milder hot pots), there was nothing pleasurable about the experience. It didn't help with the occasional street vendor approaching us with random trinkets, fruit, flowers and cigarettes.

There were too many things going on with our meal, which was very frustrating since we were all hungry and wanted to get some kind of nourishment from our expensive meal. If we were not choking on small fish bones or on the verge of passing out from the spice, we were assaulted by vendors or had our conversations halted by competing singer/songwriters singing as loud as they can (here is another promising career for our singer/songwriter friends).

And of course this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to our trip to Beijing.

Stay tuned!

Preview for the rest of our trip:

10 hour bus ride on a 2 lane road

being led by a child to our destination

walking around at 2 in the morning trying to find our hostel

Mailing List

2009-10-22T16:11:00.000-07:00

I can't access blogspot in mainland China so I can't blog about our wonderful travels. To remedy this, I'm setting up a mailing list. Get on this email list! Email me- francespontemayor@gmail.com

No more driving

2009-10-05T21:24:00.000-07:00

I'm glad that I won't have to drive long distances for a while. This makes sense considering I grew up on an island that was about 30 miles long (a third of which was inaccessible because of the military) and got carsick when we were in the car for more than 10 minutes. I'm surprised Alex still likes me considering I refused to talk to him while either of us was driving, sometimes even forcing myself to sleep to avoid conversation (sorry Alex). I'm just not one of those kinds of people.

In the morning Alex and I will be off to Boston! Neither of us have been there so it will be a treat for the both of us. In the place of long distance driving will be various modes of transportation including busses, airplanes and trains. This next week (our last in the mainland) will be a test of our health. Perhaps it was a good thing that Alex's dad pawned off a lot of medicine on us. In any case, my goal is to not get sick and avoid being quarantined in China.

I better try to compress my bag now.

obligated to

2009-10-01T09:39:00.000-07:00

Alex and I are approaching the second leg of our pre-trip. We haven't been doing much except hanging out around his dad's house, either reading, watching movies or the occasional being chased by 100 pound dogs outside. I have no problem with this because these activities are what I would like to base my entire life around (with the occasional change of scenery). The weather has been a little too cold for my taste and it doesn't help that its been really windy since we've arrived. I don't think I could handle the winters here.

Alex's dad and his wife are very nice people. His dad loves to tell stories about everything and anything (he is a good storyteller) while his wife occasionally makes fun of him. His dad also tries to pawn things off on us- jeans, face masks, books, old tshirts. I think this is cute. His wife has a nice vegetable garden that produces a large variety of stuff, which makes me wish I could have my own someday.

Minnesota

2009-09-29T08:54:00.001-07:00

There are so many books, records and food in Alex's dad's basement! It is practically a library!

Later today we will be driving out to Alex's Uncle John's cabin in Wisconsin. I've been told that there is a massive garage- or what they like to call "garage-mahal"- that is causing much controversy. I will take pictures.

Burt (Alex's dad) has two rottweilers that are ridiculously cute and nice. They both must weigh more than I do (with the older weighing at least twice as much as me) and have the capacity to kill me if necessary. Good thing I am a nice girl.

Here is an itinerary of the remainder of our American heartland trip:

Now-October 2: Minnesota

October 3-6: Chicago/O'Fallon

October 6-9: Boston

October 9-11: DC

October 11-13: New York/New Jersey

And we fly out to Shanghai on the 14th!

ramblings from Beach, North Dakota

2009-09-26T03:32:00.001-07:00

I'm alone sitting on the cold floor of the visitor's center. According to a sign on the wall that lists total mileage from various cities, Beach is approximately 1100 miles away from Seattle. We left Seattle at 830am Friday. It is now 335 am. Alex is sleeping in the back of the truck (in my sleeping bag!) because we couldn't find any motels that had any vacancies. We originally intended to camp in Billings, Montana but Alex found a second wind after a nap and decided to keep going.

I'm usually afraid of being by myself in strange areas (like normal people) but I am oddly comforted by the number of video surveillance cameras in here. It's really cold outside.

I think I will try to nap.

Actually, I don't think that will happen because of free wireless. What an age we live in.

epilogue

2009-09-20T23:24:00.000-07:00

At the end of the week, I'll be leaving Seattle with nothing more than a backpack full of underpants and socks and important documents that verify my citizenship, esl certification and education. I've relieved myself of all my possessions except for a special selection of items I've collected since I was 9 years old. I've had these things for a while but not long enough to sit down and properly reminisce (it hasn't been that long). I might as well keep the collection going in order to validate constantly moving them around. I'm actually not a hoarder.

Anyway, I digress. So I'm leaving my comfort zone once again for an indefinite amount of time. I feel like this time it is a selfish move considering my parents are still contributing to my financial pool (I'd like to think that my bond has a long time before it is fully matured). At the same time, I feel like I'm going to finally be doing something that I like. Like people who feel their need to satisfy their biological clock and settle down and start a family, going to China feels like the next logical step for me. China is my baby and/or real job. Don't worry- I'll be making money there somehow.

Did I mention that Alex will also be moving to China? I am concerned about him experiencing culture shock that mentally and physically disables him from being happy. In order to prevent this, I, with a collaboration with Rosetta Stone have been teaching him key phrases such as "This boy/girl/man/woman is drinking water", "I want beer", "I do not want to jog" in various combinations.

While I'm sad to be leaving my friends/social network, I am excited to go abroad and return with better things to talk about in comparison to this last year where I have been less interesting than a piece of bark.

This is Alex and Dana.

I will attempt to update this blog while we are abroad (government permitting, of course). So keep in touch! Also, give me your address. Alex and I are determined to write a lot of letters while we are away in order to revive the romantic notion of the act, considering how exotic our travels will be (not really, but really).

I haven't written like this in a long time since I've been traumatized writing 60+ pages over the summer. I feel like I need to insert "strategic" and "competitive advantage" in somewhere. I guess I just did.

Baby steps.

As if nothing ever happened

2009-09-12T18:41:00.001-07:00

I'm sorry I've neglected this. I have no excuses. Or I have many excuses but none are valid. I will be back shortly.

On thinking I'm better than science

2009-07-13T19:53:00.000-07:00

I am going insane.

Certainty

2009-07-01T22:01:00.000-07:00

I feel like my life thus far has been dictated by external forces, with [studying in] China being the independent variable. Now that I'm done with my undergraduate studies with a degree that I feel nothing for, I need to finally move onto the next step and take what's mine. In other words, I need to ignore others and make choices based on what I want to do.

First step? Going back to China.
I figured I spent 3 years learning the language so I might as well master it.

Seeing things

2009-06-24T20:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I see people that look like animals. These are some of the animals that are in my class this summer. I mean this in the nicest way possible.

Fake octopus

Siamese

Greyhound

Chihuahua

Panda

Afghan

Cowardly Lion

Shih-tzu

Bulldog

Now if I could only stay awake in class.

Stalling time

2009-06-24T18:22:00.000-07:00

Two nights ago I had a dream about being stuck in an elevator with someone I didn't know in real life but seemed to be relatively acquainted with in my dream. We both understood that the elevator was broken but we still rode in it anyway. Before we know it, the elevator malfunctions and makes it descent. I believe we made it through the crash.

Because I am one of those people who sometimes interprets dreams as a sign, I looked up some common analyses of elevator dreams. Aside from the usual anxiety and helplessness that are associated with the descending (and crashing) elevator, one of the more interesting and probably more relevant interpretations was that "[I am] looking for help with a specific problem, or you want to achieve your goals in a hurry without putting much effort into it". Judging from the disaster of revealing my post college plans to my family, I feel that this dream was very fitting with my current events.

In less than a month I will officially be a college graduate. Aside from my tentative plans of going back to China and doing something while I'm there, I have no solid foundation of how I plan on supporting myself. Then there is the talk about nursing school. And then how I am considering taking the GREs. Or if I should just get an MBA. And going to France with Alex.

The interpretation of the dream where I want to achieve my goals without putting much effort is pretty accurate. Maybe its because I want to do so much or that I'm not really thinking about my interests. In any case, it looks like I need to be getting on the ball when it comes to developing a plan.

I'm not the only one who is planning the next major stage in my life. In the next year, my sister and her family will be relocating to San Diego. Also, my mom and my stepdad will be moving to Taiwan to "retire". Apparently my brother is going back to school to get a Masters of Science in Library Sciences. So it looks like I'm not alone with the uncertainty about the future. Unfortunately, at least they know what they're doing.

It's June!

2009-06-01T23:37:00.000-07:00

Things I am now comfortable with which would have been absolutely unheard of a couple months ago:

sleeping with the bathroom door open
participating in class discussions (even when participation is not part of the grade!)
sleeping on either side of the bed (even if it is closest to the bathroom)
eating by myself at restaurants
leaving the house with no makeup
not showering at night

I've come a long way. If only these changes came earlier, I would've probably been a better student/person.

On another note, I love cats.

HAHA

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What!

2009-05-27T23:46:00.000-07:00

SHOW YOURSELVES!

If All Else Fails

2009-05-27T22:49:00.000-07:00

From the relative ease of producing over eight pages of marketing bullshit, maybe there is a career for me in writing marketing plans. I'd like to think it was well written. Would you like to read it?

This is in contrast to translating and defining trade terms from English to Chinese.

My eyes are going to explode from looking at this computer screen all day.

I guess

2009-05-20T01:42:00.000-07:00

The Rise of the Black Hipster

On losing my creative edge

2009-05-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

I feel like I used to be so funny:

December 13, 2006
It's the eve of my last final for Fall quarter. It's unfortunate to say that the margin between doing very well and poorly is quite small depending on the material my professor decides to test us on. In my defense, it's not very easy, nor is it encouraging, to condense 700 years of world history into a weekend of studying. At the same time, I am still recovering from stuying for my Chinese exam. It's too bad that my method for memorizing chinese characters isn't the same for world events that happened in the 13th-20th century unless I can find a way to create humorous mneumonics/emoticon-type faces and attach them to significant revolutions.

Last Saturday, I had two finals that occurred within 5 hours of eachother. In midst of the rotating depression, fatigue, confusion and frustration, I had to stop and wonder what my purpose of being at the University was. Did I really want to routinely go throuh the mental anguish and abuse that college offered? At that point, I decided that living on a farm and producing as many children as possible didn't sound so bad. My purpose would be clear cut and I didn't have to worry about grade point averages, resumes or student loans. Even by thinking this I have set the feminist movement thousands of years back but its perfectly natural to wonder why, these days, we're confined to the social pressures of following a linear path that leads to happiness and success. Whatever happened to being content as a housewife?

Naturally, after getting the finals over and done with and the mental recovery thereafter, I decided to half-take back what I thought. Although I like the idea of pursuing my biological destiny, having the opportunity to create and experience things is a part of personal development, essentially meaning that we should be enjoying life. I'm guessing the "enjoy" part of final exams comes in the rewarding period after it. Besides, as far as I've heard, bearing children isn't exactly fun and games. And who knows what happens when things go wrong with the farm.

While I feel like the only thing I excell at in college is mediocrity, the list of things I could prospectively be good at is becoming more defined. It's not quite international studies, math, economics or science but at least I'm getting there.

I used to also be so conscious:

August 1, 2006
A lot of the time, I've become so consumed in my material world that I forget to remember and acknowledge the simple things that we all take for granted. A home we can call our own, a refrigerator full of food, running water, power, and all other "basic" amenities (i.e. cellphones, cable, airconditioning, Jack In The Box) that aren't essential to our natural survival are credited to my lifestyle. With those things alone, Ive already made it better than more than half the world population. Blinded and conformed to the vision of the Western life, Ive assumed the identity of a hoarding consumer in search for bigger, better, shinier material objects that act as ornaments instead of truly investing in my well-being.

Ill admit it: I like stuff and I wish I had more of it. I often dream of becoming the owner of the most up to date useless paraphernalia that wont promise better grades (This was once a personal tactic for my parents to buy me things) or reason with myself that, since it was "insert season here", I deserve to indulge in the latest trend. It was okay to me because everyone else was moving forward in technology so it was virtually necessary for me to buy things. It is in the same league as running water or shelter; I needed stuff to survive in the city.

I come back to Guam every year since I moved to Seattle in 2002 and each time that Ive been back, it becomes apparent to me that Ive lost some part of the Guam in me. Living in Seattle, Ive become so absorbed in fitting in that Ive forgotten where my family came from and I eventually feel like Im some kind of urban impostor when I come home. My family isnt rich and we werent bred to believe so. Both my parents came from humble beginnings. My mom was raised in a small province with ten brothers and sisters so opportunity, as you can imagine, wasnt always readily available. My grandfather worked as a farmer in a town where if you were born a farmer, it was more than likely you would die a farmer. He worked to feed his family from the land that he didnt own and if it werent for recruitment by the American military, we would have never made it to Guam to pursue the American dream.

Struggle is a recurring theme in my family, as many immigrant families can relate. Although we may not embody the rags to riches ideal, weve accomplished a lot for a family who has roots in third world poverty. What I resent the most is the fact that I gave myself the impression that I can bypass all struggle and believe that I could go through life without having to lift a finger. In my eighteen years on this earth, Ive witnessed my family go through an entire theme park (as opposed to the lone rollercoaster) of struggle manifested through sickness, financial need, unexpected pregnancies and the ongoing household instability. Despite all this, look where we are now: I attend a nationally recognized university, my brother is doing the work he loves, my sister has a loving family and my parents (Uncle Chris included) have the safety net of support, reassurance and direction they were once in search of.

With this as my legacy, it isnt right for me to think that I can automatically assume the metropolitan life without regarding my familys history. It is practically my duty to use the life skills and experiences weve witnessed as a whole and using it to bring the family name to a higher level. Although looking cool and having all the right gadgets may in one way or the other seem necessary, I have to stop and think about who I am and where I came from instead of taking into account how others perceive me (and Im pretty sure this will take a while). My parents have provided me a better life that wasnt intended to exploit their hard work through clothes or knickknacks but to encourage me to work towards an even better life. I wrote this with the intention to show the negligible effect of materialism on my life/outlook on life, which is almost like a calling towards you all. Im not one to quote but Im sure you can all put this to good use, If a man cares not for his roots, how then can he care for his branches

I was also very whiny:

July 12, 2006
Sitting two rows from the end of the plane, I've come to clearly see, in my extremely fatigued and uncomfortable state, the worsening condition of air travel. Apparently, $1200 isn't enough to get proper service. In this day and age with constantly improving technology and material sciences, one would imagine that flying would be a reasonably comfortable mode of transportation but I guess with today's oil prices, they have to cut down on peanuts/salty alternative. Actually I just hate Northwest now.

In the duration of plane ride 1 of 2, the plane lost power twice while taxiing, my foot has been hit by the beverage cart, peanuts/pretzels weren't free, I stood on people's pee in the bathroom, my chair was constantly being kicked by a little baby (which cried half the time, btw)... so basically, I feel like I'm not getting the type of service, or at least security, that I/my mom paid good money for. We even had to search for our own pillow and blanket. Only halfway through my travel time, I am beginning to hate flying more and more.

Im really bitter about this experience because the flight to my first connection is usually my designated time to sulk and cry because of how much I miss everyone already in Seattle. Instead, my chair is being vibrated by a small child and I want to punch this child's face.

I'm in Hawaii now and I don't leave for another two hours which gives me time to do absolutely nothing.

It's common sense but not sensed commonly

2009-05-15T10:21:00.000-07:00

Rather than paying to see and analyze in a third person perspective (via college), learning about one's cultural heritage and its contemporary issues should be encouraged at home.

Do you know where your child is?

We're all little pieces of shit

2009-05-14T02:31:00.000-07:00

Just to put some perspective on our petty lives, here are some pictures taken by the Hubble Telescope that I really like:

I guess I'm not as special as I thought.

These pictures were taken from here.

Impossible

2009-05-14T02:25:00.000-07:00

It's 2:30 in the morning and I just finished my Chinese essay. It is only 380 characters long.

Coming soon:

A letter to the Ambassador of the American Dream cc: Public Relations/Human Resources Department
-A note on senior citizens, among other things

Are you interested in reading this?

Boners for seafaring

2009-05-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

The world was simple- stars in the darkness. Whether it was 1947 B.C. or A.D. suddenly became of no significance. We lived, and that we felt with alert intensity. We realized that life had been full for men before the technical age also- in fact, fuller and richer in many ways than the life of modern man. Time and evolution somehow ceased to exist; all that was real and that mattered were the same today as they had always been and would always be. We were swallowed up in the absolute common measure of history- endless unbroken darkness under a swarm of stars.

-Thor Heyerdahl, halfway through the voyage from Peru to Polynesia on a balsa wood raft/ Kon Tiki

Etiquette

2009-05-07T23:10:00.000-07:00

I'm sure there are many similar posts concerning this issue but it doesn't hurt to further emphasize or passive aggressively encourage people to take note of their actions.

Things about Metro riders that I cannot stand:

1. People who do not have their fare prepared as they enter/exit the bus. I absolutely hate waiting for people who are paying in uncounted coins when they have plenty of time to prepare beforehand (this only refers to those who have been previously waiting at the bus stop or had been on the bus and not to those who had to run for the bus).
2. People who enter the bus talking on their phone.
3. People who have extended conversations on their phone.
4. People who talk loud on the phone.
5. People who take up two seats by putting their belongings on one seat and refusing to move their things despite the lack of seat space for other riders.
6. People who listen to music loud enough that it can be heard through their earphones.
7. Kids who play songs on their phone via speakerphone.
8. People who are rude to the bus driver
9. Angry people who blame the bus driver (and make unnecessary comments) for their terrible commute
10. Smelly people
11. People who take forever to get off the bus.
12. People who forget to pull the cord to stop and, instead, yell at the bus driver to stop.
13. Teenage girl gossip
14. Loud, unnecessary swearing

Any combination of these gives me an anxiety attack. This happens quite often.

Hamsterdam

2009-05-06T20:41:00.000-07:00

It's like The Wire in real life:

"At the recommendation of a national commission charged with addressing Portugal's drug problem, jail time was replaced with the offer of therapy. The argument was that the fear of prison drives addicts underground and that incarceration is more expensive than treatment — so why not give drug addicts health services instead? Under Portugal's new regime, people found guilty of possessing small amounts of drugs are sent to a panel consisting of a psychologist, social worker and legal adviser for appropriate treatment (which may be refused without criminal punishment), instead of jail."

Time.com

Soon enough.

School again

2009-05-06T19:27:00.001-07:00

I'm experiencing an unnecessary amount of difficulties because I can't find two classes to satisfy the remainder of my CISB requirements. The plan is to graduate by the end of the summer (preferably by the end of the A-term) but the program advisor is giving me a hard time about the classes I can take. What frustrates me the most is that I'm not allowed to have a class that met two requirements actually count for two requirements. This is what I would like to call a business school conspiracy.

I would like to blame everyone, including myself, for my struggles but its probably best that I should put my head down and power through. I will, even after all this bullshit, bureaucracy and brownnosing, graduate by the end of the summer.

I'm even volunteering for CISB. Who would've thought.

Jellyfish Lake Palau

2009-05-05T23:15:00.000-07:00

This is beautiful. I feel so lucky to have visited this place, even if I was terrified of touching them (it was impossible not to).

Shit talking

2009-05-05T18:29:00.001-07:00

I'm one of those people who owns an impressive amount of pens and highlighters and takes meticulous notes on everything the teacher says. Even though the teacher provides us with the material that is being reviewed, I will still take detailed notes on everything that comes out of their mouth and further dissect it into more digestible pieces of information. I will then rate the relevance and importance of the information, both the original and dissected version, and color code it to my liking, where the legend of what the highlighted information means only exists in a mental legend, secured by me. I will do these things almost mindlessly as I am excellent at multitasking- I listen to the lecture, refer to the given notes and highlighting and changing colors as needed.

When the time for an exam comes around, I will then look over this my stack of notes- each session's topic neatly separated by colored post it notes or tabs. I take all the information and extract what is needed for the test. This is easy because of my color coded notes. I will compile the important notes into another file titled "review sheet" where I can list out the categories of things I need to study, use the information from the notes I have taken to supplement what is discussed in the book, neatly checking off each segment after I have mastered everything.

If I am lucky, the teacher will allow us to have a cheat sheet on the exam. I will use this to to my advantage. Because I am blessed with the skill of writing extremely small (due to my thorough notes written on the margins of my teacher's notes), I fill out the entirety of the allotted space and, of course, color coding it based on sections of what we've learned.

I am not this kind of person.

Kon Tiki

2009-05-05T18:09:00.000-07:00

As recommended by Alex, I started reading Kon Tiki as part of my regimen for personal development (not actually happening). The premise of the book revolves around a Norweigan explorer's quest to prove the theory that people of Polynesia sailed from Peru, rather than Asia, on balsa wood rafts by reenacting the theorized expedition. After forming a six member crew of burly seasoned adventurers (such as a Swede who spent a significant amount of time in South American jungles doing research on native tribes or another man who was described to be everything I would imagine a Norweigan sailor to look like, complete with red, bushy facial hair). He describes a number of barriers and bureaucracy they had to go through in order to get access to the materials, government clearance, financing, etc for the trip. What surprised me is that the process they had to go through was not difficult at all (compared to contemporary times, at least)- while his theory was immediately dismissed by his colleagues, either his credentials are unquestionable or he is extremely charismatics managed to get everything he needed without any personal investment. He met with officials from from different organizations and countries, including the President (king?) of Peru, which granted him the support in the form of supplies, access to the naval base, equipment, "free passes", navigation tools, among many, many other things. In fact, these people were more than glad to offer their services, even soliciting the crew to test out prototypes for new technologies.

This project occurred over fifty years ago. I understand that things are not the same as they once were but doesn't this all seem too fantastical, to romantic to ever occur in real life? There is no way that this project could be carried out today. I also have a feeling that hardy, seasoned sailors and explorers are hard to come by, except, of course, in the case of reality tv..

It's hard to displace ourselves and think of a life that existed without modern technology. We are the generation of value menus, digital convergence and unnecessary consumption and will probably find it very difficult to spend one day without any of the above. Perhaps that is why I find it odd that there were so many people involved in the process of Kon Tiki- exploration and knowledge of the known world were their investments rather than raising GDP or finding ways to be more economically competitive.

Who wants to invest in my voyage?

Alive

2009-05-02T22:56:00.000-07:00

I promise I'll post soon. I have no idea what I've been doing the last month.

Highlights of my career in education

2009-04-08T15:45:00.000-07:00

Preschool: I stepped away from my seat to change my toy and returned to find another boy sitting in my chair. I didn't say anything but instead moved to another chair- foreshadowing of the bullshit that is to come.

Kindergarten: I faked vomiting to try and stay home. It didn't work.

First Grade: I spelled "transportation" correctly and won my in-class spelling bee.

Second Grade: I have no idea what I did.

Third Grade: I wore baggy pants.

Fourth Grade: I moved to the Philippines and was called out on not knowing the entire multiplication table. I didn't know how to speak the language. I also realized the disparities between education systems on Guam and everywhere else.

Fifth Grade: I moved back to Guam and went to public school for the first time.

Sixth Grade: I went back to Catholic school and hated it, mostly because of the mean guidance counselor.

Seventh Grade: Public school again and witnessed my first riot.

Eighth Grade: Lost the student government election to someone in the 7th grade.

Freshman Year: Was a student athlete, in student government and hung out with seniors. Probably the most fulfilling year of my life.

Sophomore Year: Moved to Seattle and felt stupid compared to my peers.

Junior Year: Still felt dumb, realized what "liberal" meant.

Senior Year: I had fun hobbies and my future seemed really promising.

Freshman- College: Decided that I didn't like the UW anymore.

Sophomore- College: Took my first year of Chinese. Thought I was going to be an International Studies major but realized that I don't like being critical.

Junior- College: Went to China and decided that Chinese is probably the only profitable thing I will leave college with. Got into the business school and CISB, only to learn that it might have been a big mistake.

Senior- College: Unmotivated, lazy and fulfilling a very ambitious course load. Has no money.

here

2009-03-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

I like san Francisco and do not want to leave (or go back to school)

Spree

2009-03-13T19:37:00.000-07:00

When I was younger, I was a big fan of Goosebumps books. It was a gift from the publishing world: as kids, we never have the chance to make our own decisions Now, with these choose-our-own ending books, we had the empowering opportunity to make decisions for others. Although the characters were purely fictional in a purely fictional situation, we dictated how the story would end. I admit that I was weary of the outcomes. Even as a seven year old with a limited vocabulary and the naivety that would make my mother proud, I saw through the disguise of trouble that lay ahead. Obviously he shouldn't crawl into that dark hole in the neighborhood abandoned house, what kind of person do you think I am? Yet, after making all the "safe" choices that ultimately led to the most desirable outcome, I went through each possible scenario, carefully navigating through the story and encountering the consequences or happy endings.

In retrospect, I feel like a lot of choices I've made were chosen through this exact method. Sometimes the luxury of time does not exist and I am forced to quickly make a decision. At the first sign of uncertainty, I make the safe choice and move forward. Its only when I have bypassed the situation that I stop and consider the available options and therefore assess if I had made the right choice. Unfortunately, my foresight is not as keen as it was reading those books.

I guess that's why I'm in the business school.

---

On a side note: if it weren't for the extended periods of power outages as a result of typhoons hitting Guam and the island's poor infrastructure, I probably would have never read. So, by association, thank the poor management of the government for my success (or lack thereof).

Did this really happen?

2009-03-11T00:33:00.001-07:00

Because I've been sick, I've been asleep more than I've been awake in the last two days. While this has been the case, I have been the most productive in the time I actually was awake (except for the missing class part). I even did something voluntary when it came to a group project!

Adding more to the pot of satisfactory news, Alex came over last night to deliver my Chinese homework and spent the night. There is nothing better than a second nose and a pair of eyes to look out for signs of my apartment burning down.

Aside from my fear of burning down my house, its nice not having crippling episodes of anxiety.

I'm so glad this quarter is almost over. Let's hope I pass all my classes.

Speaking of classes, this is how my last real quarter of college looks like:

	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday
8:30





9:00





9:30





10:00





10:30		MKTG 490 A BLM 304		MKTG 490 A BLM 304





11:00





11:30





12:00





12:30		MKTG 410 B BLM 311		MKTG 410 B BLM 311





1:00





1:30





2:00





2:30		I BUS 490 B BLM 408		I BUS 490 B BLM 408





3:00





3:30





4:00





4:30 p	I S 300 B BLM 209		I S 300 B BLM 209





5:00 p





5:30 p				I S 300 B BLM 402





6:00 p





6:30 p				I BUS 491 F BLM 207





7:00 p





7:30 p





8:00 p

I know, right?

Do you have any tips on how I should get through a 10 hour school day (with a one hour break after a 6 hour block)?

Nothing new

2009-02-25T18:54:00.000-08:00

I think I'm crazy.

Picture of the Day

2009-02-19T20:46:00.000-08:00

Isn't my mom so pretty? I like seeing my mom happy like this. Reena (the baby/my niece) is also very cute. The Chinese man is my stepdad (He's actually from Taiwan).

My dream is realized

2009-02-19T16:44:00.000-08:00

Tentative schedule for next quarter:

Monday and Wednesday
10-3:30 Work
4:30-6:20 IS 300-Introduction to Information Systems

Tuesday
10:30-12:20 MKTG 450 Consumer Behavior
12:30-2:20 MKTG 460 Marketing Research
2:30-4:20 IBUS 490 Business in China

Thursday (Ouch)
10:30-12:20 MKTG 450 Consumer Behavior
12:30-2:20 MKTG 460 Marketing Research
2:30-4:20 IBUS 490 Business in China
5:30-6:20 IS 300 Introduction to Information Systems
6:30-8 IBUS491 CISB Seminar

Friday
WEEKEND!

Still an 18 credit quarter though.

The Kid Returns to Seattle

2009-02-13T11:10:00.000-08:00

When limited to the confines of Balmer Hall for an average of four consecutive hours, four days of the week, it isn't surprising to approach the world in terms of how a typical business school class is conducted. We are all functions of Microsoft Office- from determining the most cost effective balance between manufacturing products to creating a five minute presentation covering the SWOT analysis of a given company and further exploring some suggestions for better operating practices. Parties are not just social functions but constituency building, networking or even leadership workshops. Business casual is not just sensible shoes and a practical pant suit but a way of life- every moment is an opportunity to sell yourself.

As we all know, I am not a perfect extension of the business school but that does not exempt me from occasionally dissecting events into bulletin points or net present value. In the dualities of life and the business school, my specialization exists in "balancing the books". For those of you unfamiliar with the basics of accounting (in which I am a remedial learner), the essence of the books lie in assets and liabilities and how you want both sides to equal -or balance- out. While in daily business practices, assets are defined as material goods, equipment or cash, assets in my case are reasons or accomplishments that I can redeem to my parents which, in turn, provide me with material goods or $$$ in hopes for a future return, which is a liability on my part. My livelihood is dependent on these pieces of information. I need good news to sell myself to parents.

My business practices are not independent of the financial crisis. The prospect of being unable to repay my financiers is looming, my assets are quickly disappearing and with the current landscape of an depressing 18 credit quarter, interning, and having a boyfriend, I'm concerned with the falling value of my remaining (and not highly rated) assets. I don't want to think that my parents/investors have placed bad loans on me but having no absolute plans for after college is enough for them to be skeptical of their investment. They will just have to watch the market I guess.

In the mean time, all I can do is to get my people(me) going -get those innovative juices flowing- to appreciate my value.

Chinese Midterm

2009-02-05T12:45:00.001-08:00

It's ironic that I am to give a speech about the difficulties I experience as a college student, how I deal with these issues and how I stay positive or competitive under the circumstances in Chinese when I can barely articulate them (at least prospective resolutions) in English. I spent a collective four and a half hours writing this paper and now I will spend a comparable amount of time memorizing it.

Have I really been studying Chinese for three years? When can I capitalize on this skill?

This Is What I Like To See

2009-01-27T21:33:00.000-08:00

From the New York Times-

WASHINGTON — The economic stimulus plan that Congress has scheduled for a vote on Wednesday would shower the nation’s school districts, child care centers and university campuses with $150 billion in new federal spending, a vast two-year investment that would more than double the Department of Education’s current budget.

The proposed emergency expenditures on nearly every realm of education, including school renovation, special education, Head Start and grants to needy college students, would amount to the largest increase in federal aid since Washington began to spend significantly on education after World War II. Link to article.

---

I like the sound of that, let us hope they approve it. Isn't that good news? I'm not too worried about the provisions of the package, somehow I am comforted knowing that it is a Democratic majority in Congress. We will see, I suppose.

A random fact: I love garlic.
Surprising fact: I think I've been eating too many chips lately, I am not compelled to force handfuls of chips into my mouth.

I have two tests on Thursday. :(

Filler

2009-01-26T22:47:00.000-08:00

Miscellaneous DC-

Peacock Room at the Freer Art Gallery

Smithsonian Castle

This is me as of 11pm, Monday night-

I wish I could have three day weekends like most seniors in the Business School.

I will be on a self appointed job deferral after I graduate because I am going to teach English somewhere (like I could find a job anyway)

I just finished watching My Kid Could Paint That, I enjoyed the themes addressed as well as the production of the documentary

I wish it was warm because I don't like wearing a lot of clothes.

I heard BirdNote on NPR today and thought it was terif.

El Guincho

...
...
...

Tell me what I should write about. I am uninspired.

Vital Stats

2009-01-20T22:24:00.000-08:00

My neighbor violently knocked on our mutual wall, suggesting -with no shame- that I should turn my music down. What an asshole. I hate my life.

However

I love these random surveys people fill and publish for the world to see, mostly because I feel like it is an indirect way for people to talk about themselves without being too conspicuous about it. If you didn't know already, that is my preferred way of speech!

(Taken off a Myspace Bulletin, arbitrarily chosen)

Never in my life have I been :
desperate for alternative activities to homework, I've reached a low when I rationalize filling out a stupid survey.

I hate it when:
the bathroom door is open- two words: poop particles. my hair is wet- wet hair equates a wet shirt, wet pillow, moistness. my feet are cold- does not need an explanation.

If your gonna talk smack about me:
I would like to have a fist fight- this has been a lifelong goal.

When I'm nervous:
I laugh, it's especially an inconvenience during Chinese presentations.

The last song I listened to was:
Banshee Bat- Animal Collective

If you were to get married today ur maid of honor/best man would be?
None of this roleplaying bullshit in my wedding- mostly because I have trouble making decisions.

My hair is:
on its way to becoming reminiscent of an island princess/bird's nest, it will be my new spring look.

When I was 5:
I read Childcraft, went to Montessori and wore color coordinated outfits, complete with hair accessories and lacy socks.

Last Christmas:
my brother got an Xbox 360, I got birth control. I also met a cat named Ted.

I should be:
doing work in the form of 1. finishing my section of the powerpoint 2. reading for class 3. cross-stitching 4. considering how I am going to pay for bills

When I look down:
there are boxes of varying sizes- a small mountain of empty cigarette boxes, a lunchbox full of pens, boxes for electronics that I've saved with the intention of repackaging them for when times are tough and must liquidate my personal belongings (impending).

My current annoyance is:
time and how I am abusing it

I have a hard time understanding:
my neurosis

There's this girl that i know:
and she's a Chinese lesbian

The thing I want to buy is:
a videocamera, a plane ticket somewhere

If you visited the place I'm from:
First of all, you will be pleasantly surprised to know that it exists. Second of all, you would get cabin fever after a week.

Most recent thing I've bought myself:
more birth control- I have to get those numbers up.

Most recent thing someone else bought me was:
cranberry juice- it's because I got those numbers up.

My middle name is:
Eloisa

In the morning:
I will have to bullshit through school

Last night I was:
watching Defiance with Dana, Marie and Alex

If I was an animal I'd be:
some sort of silly bird. Hopefully not a worm or wormlike creature because I would hate that.

Tomorrow I am:
bullshitting through school

Tonight I am:
not relieving myself of any future problems, feeling sorry for myself, hating my house.

---

With all the formalities now taken care of, I am curious to see how the Obama administration will carry out its agenda. I don't know about you, but I'm antsy to see this change business that is so frequently mentioned.

Digressions

2009-01-15T00:35:00.000-08:00

My brother introduced me to this artist, Henri Toulouse-Lautrec, when he took me to the National Gallery of Art in DC. I like his work. I have nothing more to say.

The Death Of Me

2009-01-14T18:40:00.000-08:00

This is Ted. He is 15 years old, 20 pounds and diabetic. I want to hear about how cute you think he is!

A memo

2009-01-12T20:27:00.000-08:00

Dear Frances,

It has been brought to my attention from several other departments that you are experiencing some difficulties that have ultimately affected your work. Here at Frances Pontemayor, our mission is to create an environment in which all sectors work together to produce the best results for our sole client, Frances. Our greatest asset is our employees as we can only achieve success through them. However, it is to my extreme disappointment to hear that your actions have negative results, impacting our organization as a whole.

I understand that there are many factors, both internal and external, that affect your work. Having a demanding 18 credit quarter, working 14 hours a week and maintaining a social life including a male counterpart is indeed a balancing act. But I must remind you that you are doing this for the greater good, let us not forget what we are working towards. I recall in our earlier encounters the types of goals you had set for yourself- You want to travel the world, teach children, get published, make a positive impact on the world, regardless of how big or small it may be. In my recent observation, your attitude has been moving in the opposite direction of attaining these goals. Your sense of worthlessness, lack of motivation and negativity has permeated the atmosphere of our organization causing a chain reaction of productivity issues. There should be no excuse for this.

Your performance in our company's history is nothing short of commendable. You have accomplished so much in your time with us. Just last quarter, you were able to successfully pass your first quarter in the Business School with a demanding 18 credit course load. Let us also not forget where you have been; your experiences is an inspiration to both your fellow employees as well as Frances herself. You have sacrificed many things to get to where you are today and it would be a shame to see it all go to waste.

I have identified several solutions to your predicament, the first is to purchase multivitamins to address what your diet lacks, namely vitamin B which I'm sure has a stake in your depression. Second, I think it is a wonderful thing that you have started writing short stories again, regardless of the fact that you write during classes and in the margins of your notes. We will address this problem at a later time. Regardless, please continue with your writing. Third of all and most importantly, please refrain from putting too much emphasis on your [romantic] relationship. If it is one thing that our client is still recovering from, it is the results of her previous relationship. Let us not have that happen again. In the end, all I wish is for you to remember that you should be doing what is best for yourself.

Your health and well being is a great concern to our organization and I would hate to resort to extreme measures in dealing with this predicament. Please remember, I value you as a member of our team and I would like nothing more than to see you happy.

Your experience with us is only as good as you want it to be.

Sincerely,

Frances

How cute is this?

2009-01-11T23:02:00.001-08:00

July 2006. Javen was 7, Alora was 3.

Winter 2009

2009-01-08T12:40:00.000-08:00

Monday, Wednesday

10:30-11:20 Third Year Chinese (Non Heritage)
12:30-2:20 Business, Government and Society
2:30-4:20 Organizational Behavior

Tuesdays, Thursdays

8:30-10:20 International Marketing
10:30-11:20 Third Year Chinese
1:00-6:00 Internship (5:00pm on Thursdays)
6:30-8:00 CISB Seminar (Thursdays only)

Fridays
10:30-11:20 Third Year Chinese
1:00-6:00 Internship

I have to say that I really, really like chips.

On 2009

2008-12-31T15:37:00.000-08:00

I'll keep this short and sweet (and unrealistic):

Curb my spending (even on food)

Pay attention in class

Be nice to people

Do something worthwhile and stop feeling sorry for myself (right)

I doubt any of that will happen. Tonight, my brother, Michael and I are going to go to a dance boutique. What exactly is a dance boutique? I'll let you know.

Are any of you concerned about the ongoing financial crisis? What is to happen to all those people, companies, countries, etc, dependent on American consumer spending? How about the enlightened state of Americans and their relationship with money? Maybe its a good thing that this era of consumerism/materialism is over. These things are so complicated. Maybe this is why I don't like to think about these things.

Washington DC looks like this

2008-12-29T15:46:00.000-08:00

Old lamp or something

Old street or something, Smithsonian- Hall of Mammals, Natural History Museum

Smithsonian, Hope Diamond, Gem Exhibit (it was magical!)

Washington Memorial/Reflection Pool viewed from the Lincoln Memorial, Lincoln Memorial (bigger than you think)

Thomas Jefferson memorial

Metro, Capitol

Library of Congressss

Supreme Court (the spiral staircase)

National Portrait Gallery/ American Art Museum, Metro- Dupont Circle

Do you want more? I like the Metro

Since I learned that I will be graduating sooner than expected, I have been having occasional panic attacks concerning what I will be doing after I graduate. Here are some of the options I am considering:

1. Teach English somewhere in the world
2. Teach for America
3. Non profit work* in Seattle
4. Non profit work in the Bay Area
5. Non profit work somewhere in this world

(Who would have thought, right?)

Things I am not considering:

1. Admin-assistant
2. Working on Guam
3. Getting a job in China through my parents' hotel connections
4. Big business anything

The problem is actually finding a job in this terrible economy!

*Non profit work in terms of education, economic development or microfinancing.

Washington DC is

2008-12-21T15:14:00.000-08:00

impressive, ambitious, competitive, a hive, powered by Blackberries, patriotic, sensible shoes, suits and ties, aggressive, commercial, politally correct, neutral, efficient.

I like the subway and old things. Where are all the cool record stores?

There is also a 15 year old, 20 pound cat living here!

Documenting our hysteria: Liz and Frances studying for finals

2008-12-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

My last two finals are today. Liz and I have been at Victrola since 6:30 this morning, it is now 9:30. Our first final is at 2:30 and our last final will end by 6:30.

9:28 I just told Liz how excited I am about finishing my finals. It has been a series of emotion since we started studying- I was depressed, then anxious, then angry, now I'm excited. Liz has finished half of a liter bottle of cranberry juice. She is now going to the bathroom. She is pointing aggressively at me on the way to the bathroom.

9:31 My body feels like a stretch that cannot be satisfied. Does this make sense to you? I am taking a sip of cranberry juice, I should keep my urinary tract functioning properly. Liz says that, through my liveblogging, we've reached new lows. She is laughing with her cranberry juice in her hand. She says, "I feel like we've taken drugs...it's only 9:30 Frances! *extending her hand* we have a lot of time left [before these tests]".

9:34 Liz is on her computer, I don't believe she is doing things relevant to studying Finance. I don't want to look at her or else I'm going to laugh. I am going to look at finance material now.

9:35 Liz is laughing to herself. I don't want to look at what she's laughing at in fear of being severely disturbed.

9:36 I want to cheat on this test. Liz is shaking her head at me.

9:40 I wonder if focusing on a piece of material for a long enough time and whether it is possible to internalize it just by looking at it, not necessarily trying to understand it. I don't feel like doing any more practice problems (I'm not exactly doing any problems, I'm just looking at them)

9:43 While switching songs on my iPod, I hear whatever Victrola is playing. I know this band but the name slips my mind, I know there is something with a horse in the name. I'm looking at Liz and she looks like she's concentrating very hard. She is pressing buttons on her calculator. I am certain I will fail this test.

9:45 "Bizarre Love Triangle" comes on shuffle and I decide that I really like 90s dance music. Liz is making funny faces.

9:47 Tim calls my phone and I give it to Liz. I tell her to tell him that we're liveblogging. Tim is coming here. I am worried that I will have to shift all my things to accommodate his physical needs. That doesn't seem right. I need to pee again. Or poop, I'm not sure yet.

9:53 Liz sticks her hand in front of my face as I'm trying to work through a problem and asks if I've posted this yet. I say no, she pulls the large bottle of cranberry juice from under the table and says thanks, she feels much better. She slouches into her chair and reads out loud. I really need to pee but I'm embarrassed. Liz and I have collectively used the bathroom at least 18 (10 for Liz only) times. I wonder when I'll stop liveblogging. This is more fun than you think!

10:00 I just received a call from my landlord and I will be signing another lease. I hope I don't stay here for another year, I would like to move to another country/San Francisco. Liz says there are a lot of kids here and that they are "cute", I really think she means that she wants to steal them. Liz is muttering to herself and is pointing aggressively again at me. She is also doing robot movements and speaking in rhythm. She is talking about WACC (weighted average cost of capital) and how she wants to punch Tim when she sees him.

10:02 Liz is talking and I am not listening to her words anymore because I'm distracted by these men behind me who are talking loudly. Liz is telling me that she needs a brush because her hair is nappy, whatever the fuck that means. Liz is talking about her hat and how she bought it at Walgreens for $1.50, she is planning to buy more.

10:05 Out of nowhere, Liz tells me that her mom has buckteeth, demonstrates how her mom looks and says that "its very cute". I think this is a good place to stop. I seriously have to pee.

Out of Control

2008-12-07T15:53:00.000-08:00

I like this picture of my mom and niece number 1, Alora. I am pretty sure that there was food in Alora's mouth when this picture was taken. I want that jade bracelet my mom is wearing. I was supposed to have it over the summer but was not able to because there are no proper jade polishing facilities on island, so I will have to wait until my mom goes to Taiwan/Philippines to get it done. I wonder what my mom cooked in this picture, I'm sure it is delicious. This is the dining table that has been in my family for years. When we were younger and my mom would leave the island for business, she would place a gallon of water and a box of cereal under this table in case of an earthquake. I also remember when this table was in my sister's condo, my dad was ironing a shirt on the table and damaged it. My mom was upset about this as this table was expensive. Do you like the tribal table cover and the fake plastic birds of paradise (the flowers)? How about the pink accent wall? My room, which is also painted pink, is to the left of that wall.

I am digging myself a deeper hole by blogging instead of doing homework. It is almost 4pm on a Sunday and I have not studied for any of my finals. What am I even doing! I want to go to the liquor store. I have been listening to David Bowie's The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust... album for days now!

Graduating/Epic

2008-12-06T22:33:00.000-08:00

Homer (my guest on Thanksgiving)

Alex (is so handsome)!

El Guincho at the Nectar Lounge 11/24

Now that I have your attention, I hope you are ready for something epic.

After I had been admitted into the Business School and CISB program, I met with the CISB counselor to map out the rest of my time at the UW. Since I had applied to the program a year later than most people, we had forecasted my graduated date to be Winter 2010. However, when I was doing some academic planning in lieu of listening to important test material, I realized that I could graduate as early as summer 2009 (While I am compromising a decent grade in that class, I figured that realizing the possibility of graduating is far more significant than understanding the concepts underlying project management). I spoke to two academic counselors about my forecast and I was absolutely right-

I will be graduating this summer!

This is amazing news because I was already starting to internalize the fact that I would be miserable in the business school by myself while two out of the two friends I have in the school will have long graduated. The best/worst part about this situation is that, by the end of my college career, I will have accumulated over 220 credits (180 is the minimum amount to graduate). This is the best/worst because I both maximized/wasted my time and money at the UW, depending on which classes that I feel were either beautiful (aka Mr Deblois) or stupid shit (aka business school prerequisites).

So how does it feel knowing that one is graduating a lot sooner than expected? Where do I even begin?

Let's start with the superficial- I'm happy that I get to graduate with my 2 (out of 2) business school friends, I'm relieved that I don't have to waste money on bullshit books, I'm excited to have a life outside of Balmer or Foster (where all my business class are and will be for the next 30 weeks), NO MORE BUSINESS CASUAL, and, probably most importantly, I'm glad I will be out of an extremely competitive environment.

Further into the emotional depths, I am happy for my parents because all three of their children are(will be) college graduates. If it was one thing that my mom constantly told us (aside from "guys don't like loose girls"), it is that we needed to graduate from college in order to have a better life. This was normal considering that my siblings and I were generation 1.5 of having the opportunity to grow up in America and have all the opportunities that it entails (to a certain extent on Guam, I guess). Where would I even be if it weren't for my grandfather who made this all possible for us? Being a college graduate continues the legacy and I feel that it legitimizes the sacrifices of my grandfather/family. Let us hope that I actually do something worthwhile after all this. Probably not.

Finally, I address my fear and insecurities. Having believed that I had an extra year of school, didn't seriously think about my after-college plans. Especially in the visual sense, looking at the numbers that compose 2010 seems like decades away. Now that graduation had moved up a year, I feel like there is a sense of urgency that I need to address. There is no validation to maintaining this lifestyle if I'm not in school anymore, especially if I am foregoing a secure job in lieu of "doing what I want". How will I maintain this lifestyle? This loft?!

I've considered several options of my post graduation plans, mostly romantic ideas of how I want to travel and teach and help people but, I feel that I need to be realistic about my actions, or at least be able to convince my parents that I am doing something valuable. While my mom always encouraged doing things that we enjoy, there was also the issue of $$$, as most immigrant families have to address at some point. I think she was secretly hoping we would like to be doctors, lawyers or financial geniuses. Her sociological experiment worked to some extent with me but ultimately failed when I realized that I hated the business school and do not want to have anything to deal with large amounts of money and investing it in ideas, or anything to that degree. I still like China though, don't ask me to explain why. I'm not ready yet.

I feel like starting this internship gives me some kind of direction since it will contribute to my sparse resume, especially if this is the path I want to follow. I regret not getting involved with anything, really, during my time in school, but I will defend myself and say that it took me a long time to find out what my "passions" are (Don't ask me about this one either, I'm also not ready to explain). We'll see. 21 is the new 16; I'm still young, right?

I think it is ironic that I am writing about how I am going to graduate yet am not making any attempt to study for the three finals I have, especially since I am extremely uncertain about how I will do in these classes. I'm still going to go with the rationale that knowing that I get to graduate is more important than learning about bullshit. Let's not rain on my parade. I feel like I've been prematurely celebrating though by rewarding myself with material goods, let us hope my parents feel like I deserve these things or else I will have to ask for a bailout.

---

It is only fair that I address the topics that people have requested in the previous post.

"10. How it is fun to drink and socialize and dance(in that order)"

Since I've been 21, I feel like I've both abused and made the most out of having the privilege to drink. This is especially bad since my parents are the ones who finance my consumption. In previous years, I was a self identified social hermit and refused to speak to people unless spoken to (mostly because I hated my life/Eamon). And, like everyone says, drinking is a social lubricant. In the last couple of months, I feel like I've reintroduced myself to all my friends and vice versa. I've learned some interesting things about myself and other people as a result of drinking. For example, I guess I turn into an unrestrained asshole when I drink. I make multiple threats and swear at people with no shame. This is not ladylike. Then there is the dancing. Making a perfect segue from socializing with friends, dancing is the perfect way to end a night. Whether it is at a show or dance clubs, dancing further demonstrates the unconfined nature of having a genuinely good time with friends. Those of you who have gone dancing with me understand this. Also, if dancing is the option of the night, then there is less room for me to become an asshole and talk shit. That is important to note.

"11. The substantial weight I've put on in the last year and how my appetite has gone through the roof!"

Although you may not see the difference, there have been significant changes of my physical entity. I cannot comfortably wear pants that I own, which is especially difficult during these times of double pantsing. My face is fatter, my thighs are rippling (in the bad way) and I have a belly. While this is all unusual for me, I had a feeling that my metabolism couldn't keep up with the amount of food that I eat. Liz and I are eating champions, especially for girls of our size. I cannot even describe how this is possible, it is even harder to quantify how much food we eat. Would you like to see this in action? Take us out to eat, especially at any one of our favorite restaurants, and you will see.

--

It is 12am, which technically means I have a final tomorrow that I have done absolutely no studying for, in two days I have two consecutive finals that I have done even less studying for. I hope that I can validate my bullshitting with decent grades.

In about two weeks I'll be visiting my brother in DC for the first time, as you already know. I've been rereading his blog, which is still as funny as the first time I've read it. The August entries are especially entertaining! If you ever want to get second perspective of my family, I recommend reading it. Maybe you can also get some insight as to how I am the way I am.

I'm tired/hungry, I may or may not vomit. This is all. No proper transition to the end.

Home Stretch

2008-11-30T17:59:00.000-08:00

Things I would like to talk about but either do not have the time or patience to do so:

1. The likelihood of me graduating earlier than I expected and suddenly afraid of what comes after graduation.

2. Finally doing something worthwhile with my spare time and trying to get the most out of college- Getting an internship

3. Being retrospective of the relationship I had with Eamon and how insensitive I was to others

4. Hoping for the best with Alex

5. Being ridiculously poor yet living way beyond my means and feeling extremely guilty about it

6. Dealing with the last week of school and then finals and having to deal with 18 credits every quarter till the summer

7. How my career goals have changed dramatically (no big business!)

8. How I feel that teaching children would be rewarding (Teach for America/New Teacher Project)

9. How I hope my parents will support and be happy for me considering I refuse to work for a company for the sake of making money

10. How it is fun to drink and socialize and dance(in that order)

11. The substantial weight I've put on in the last year and how my appetite has gone through the roof!

Are any of these topics particularly interesting to you that you would like that I address? I will take requests.

Eating Poop

2008-11-19T08:25:00.000-08:00

Mrs Whyte scooped up what she thought was compacted chocolate, but by the time she realised it something other than ice-cream, it was too late.

“The minute I put the spoon to my lips, the stench went through my nostrils. I retched and spat it into the napkin,” she told Sydney’s Sunday Telegraph newspaper.

She said one of her sons screamed at the hotel staff: “you’ve made my mum eat poo”.

You know how I feel about poop related business.

On why I want a cat (again)

2008-11-14T08:43:00.000-08:00

On getting exercise tips

2008-11-12T19:54:00.000-08:00

According to my mom, I shouldn't eat "dunking donuts", instead I should opt for fresh fruit. While I understand what she means by this (although slightly off content-wise), the situation wouldn't be as weird if she had not segued from having my brother "off her list" for not calling anymore. At this point there is no doubt that my conversational skills are hereditary.

My mom and I talked about how I have been eating a lot more lately, attributed to my newfound interest (or epiphany) in cooking for myself. I had mentioned that I feel like I have been gaining weight and she responded that I should 1. stop eating rice (which she has mentioned many times when she had taken notice of my growing ass) and 2. in lieu of riding my bike, I should "jump around" my apartment as a form of exercise. These alternative means to losing weight/exercise seem to be doing wonders for her. Apparently, her recent weight loss is a direct relation of her dancing with my niece, Reena, when she babysits. There are more helpful guidelines to my diet but I will save you the ridiculousness of it all. You know how parents are.

Aside from me gaining weight and my impending weight loss regimen, I feel overworked from school. For example today I had a Operations Management midterm, tomorrow I have a Finance quiz and will be on campus till 8pm, Friday I have a Chinese quiz, a group meeting for a Finance project and another group meeting for I BUS and finally (not really), I have a Chinese test on Monday. For the next three weeks, my schedule will probably resemble this structure. How would I have ever survived with a part time job? I realize that this workload is probably a piece of cake for some but still, is it really necessary to constantly test our intelligence and dedication to the subject matter? Do our teachers really not trust us?

Probably not, considering that I spent a good amount of time replacing words with "cock", "penis" or "vagina" or making any sort of reference to sex or blowjobs at the end of sentences, as well as drawing penises on the pictures on Tom's notes in class today*. I am probably a decent model for how our teachers do not trust our dedication. And I want to be a teacher...

Which brings me to how I also spoke to my stepdad about my prospective internship this summer. In the end, I am guaranteed an internship in either Singapore, mainland China or Taiwan in some kind of hotel. While this is great considering I don't have to actually compete for a spot, I haven't broken the news about how I hate big business and would rather do nonprofit/education work. Then again, I still need to do an internship in order to graduate with a CISB degree. It's tough!

I mentioned my work intensive week but I am doing nothing to relieve any (future) stress, like studying or doing research. This is what I am doing- eating hot Cheetos, sitting in my underpants, listening to music and planning on reading some comics. This is what I want to be doing- writing my essay for that China essay contest, applying for internships that I would enjoy, have time to read the new comics and magazines I bought and eating more chips.

On Being Able to Handle Six Hours of Straight School

2008-11-10T05:57:00.001-08:00

My Winter quarter is as follows:

Monday through Friday:
10:30-11:20 CHIN 303 3rd Year Non-Heritage Chinese

Mondays and Wednesdays:
12:30-2:20 MGMT 320 Business, Government and Society
2:30-4:20 B ECON 300 Managerial Economics
4:30-6:20 MGMT 300 Organizational Behavior

Thursdays:
6:30-7:50 I BUS 491 CISB Seminar

Those business classes sound terrible. Let us hope I don't get lazy with all that free time during the rest of the week!

Silly Chinese Characters!

2008-11-04T17:21:00.000-08:00

凹 - ao(1)- To Concave

Can you believe that is a Chinese character? It's ridiculous!

In other words, I hope good things come out of today. Do you?

On Posting Explicit Content

2008-11-03T20:51:00.000-08:00

I briefly posted two images of some of the "doodles" I drew in class but removed them because I felt that they were a little too controversial in material. I felt like it had the potential to compromise everything that I had worked towards (such as my reputable citizenship) so I decided against it, especially if I had mentioned in the previous post that I wanted to be a schoolteacher. At the same time, I don't think you would understand the humor in some of these drawings. However, I think that these images are some of the best works of art I have ever produced. I get some of the best material when I'm in class. So my solution is if you would like to see it, I will gladly email it to you!

Here is a sample of what you will receive-

I believe it is an accurate representation of myself, encompassing both my physique and worldly talents, something that is not easily done!

There is more where this comes from, and uncensored too!